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“Am I The Jerk For Bringing My Baby To A Child-Free Wedding?”
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Parenting, Social Issues2 months ago

“Am I The Jerk For Bringing My Baby To A Child-Free Wedding?”

Whether or not to bring kids—and especially babies—to weddings can be a very sensitive issue. Strong arguments could be made for either case. However, when the happy couple explicitly ask their guests not to bring their kids, it’s usually best to honor their wishes. It is their wedding day after all. And they’re giving everyone plenty of notice to find a babysitter. Heck, some of the other guests might have hired certified professionals for their own kids!

Redditor u/babyweddingthrowaway shared what happens when guests don’t think that the rules apply to them. She turned to the AITA community for their opinion on whether or not she was a jerk for bringing her 10-month-old baby to her cousin’s wedding, despite everyone having been asked not to do this.

Scroll down for the full story in the new mom’s own words and to read how other internet users reacted to the entire drama. Oh, and when you’re done, we’d like to hear from you, Pandas. Who did you think was in the wrong? How would you have handled the situation? Do you have any weddings coming up soon? Tell us all about it in the comments.

Usually, marrying couples tell their guests whether or not it’s all right to bring kids to the wedding

Image credits: Justin Luck (not the actual photo)

In some cases, the guests don’t listen. Here’s one mom’s story about what happened when she brought her baby to the ceremony

Image credits: Samantha Gades (not the actual photo)

Image credits: babyweddingthrowaway

It’s pretty darn unusual for the AITA community to be so united in their YTA verdicts. In this particular case, a huge number of redditors thought that the mom was clearly in the wrong because she did the one thing parents were asked not to do. She brought her kid. The baby disrupted the ceremony. And the thing that the couple dreaded would happen actually happened.

The redditor’s defense was that she’d RSVP’d and told her cousin that she’d be bringing her baby anyway. The groom and his bride didn’t tell her ‘no’ again because they didn’t want to start any drama. Meanwhile, some of the other guests were upset because they thought the redditor was given “special treatment.”

In short, this entire situation shows what happens when even a single person thinks they’re above the general guidelines. We absolutely adore kids at weddings and we totally get parents wanting to love and protect their munchkins, but at the end of the day, if it’s a childfree wedding, it’s a childfree wedding. And demanding exemptions when others are in the exact same boat as you sounds a bit selfish.

Previously, Anna and Sarah, team leaders at The Wedding Society, stressed to Fashion Life that it is vital to respect the wishes of the marrying couple.

“Whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all,” guests should honor the couple’s wishes regarding kids at the ceremony.

“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babes along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” Anna and Sarah said that parents should strive to look at some of the positive aspects of going to a childfree wedding. It’s an opportunity to spend time with your partner, friends, and family. It’s a date night in disguise.

“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”

The vast majority of internet users condemned what the mom did. Here’s what they said was wrong with her behavior

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MoJo1979
Community Member
2 months ago

If it says Child free, respect their decision and don't attend the wedding if you're not comfortable leaving the kid with someone. I had the same situation where my cousin was getting married and said it was child free and I simply replied with, enjoy your day, I cannot attend. It's not hard.

ursula zaid
Community Member
2 months ago

Was your cousin understanding?

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Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
2 months ago

One of my aunts did this. We were childfree. She decided that didn't apply to her pwecious grandbabies, and brought them so that everyone could admire how beautiful and special they were. Fortunately they didn't disturb the ceremony, but when they started running laps around the reception dance floor while dinner was being served, I had the coordinator "handle" things. Wedding advice: ALWAYS have a professional who can kick people out as needed!

John L
Community Member
2 months ago

Well, that is what ushers, are supposed to be for. I did an usher job for one of my friends and he told us to not let anyone in, once the wedding started and the vows were finished. We had a lobby full of upset people who couldn't be bothered to show up on time. But we didn't let them in until the vows were finished.

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Enlee Jones
Community Member
2 months ago

Translation: I’m a pweshus speshul snowflake and I’m looking for strangers to validate all the reasons I list to justify why the rules don’t apply to me.

Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
2 months ago

Also, they want to show off their kids/grandkids to feed their own egos instead of letting the focus be on the couple getting married.

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MoJo1979
Community Member
2 months ago

If it says Child free, respect their decision and don't attend the wedding if you're not comfortable leaving the kid with someone. I had the same situation where my cousin was getting married and said it was child free and I simply replied with, enjoy your day, I cannot attend. It's not hard.

ursula zaid
Community Member
2 months ago

Was your cousin understanding?

Load More Replies...
Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
2 months ago

One of my aunts did this. We were childfree. She decided that didn't apply to her pwecious grandbabies, and brought them so that everyone could admire how beautiful and special they were. Fortunately they didn't disturb the ceremony, but when they started running laps around the reception dance floor while dinner was being served, I had the coordinator "handle" things. Wedding advice: ALWAYS have a professional who can kick people out as needed!

John L
Community Member
2 months ago

Well, that is what ushers, are supposed to be for. I did an usher job for one of my friends and he told us to not let anyone in, once the wedding started and the vows were finished. We had a lobby full of upset people who couldn't be bothered to show up on time. But we didn't let them in until the vows were finished.

Load More Replies...
Enlee Jones
Community Member
2 months ago

Translation: I’m a pweshus speshul snowflake and I’m looking for strangers to validate all the reasons I list to justify why the rules don’t apply to me.

Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
2 months ago

Also, they want to show off their kids/grandkids to feed their own egos instead of letting the focus be on the couple getting married.

Load More Replies...
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