Bye Bye “Cheers”, Say Hello To These Funny Toasts Instead
Beer is the most popular alcoholic beverage worldwide. In fact, after water and tea, it’s the most commonly consumed drink in the world. So “Cheers!” to the world’s all-time favorite drink to party with! But whatever your drink of choice is, the ritual of toasting is one of the oldest forms of communication and a universal way to celebrate life’s big moments.
Toasting was first documented in ancient Greece and Rome as a way for people to wish for each other’s health and wellbeing. Centuries later, the habit of clinking glasses started accompanying the ritual everywhere around Europe. No one knows whether clinking glasses was meant to mix everyone’s drinks (thereby reducing the odds of being poisoned) or to add sound to the experience. Today, though, we still do it to pay homage to those who have made an impact on our lives — whether it be our parents, friends, or colleagues.
But aren’t you tired of saying that banal “Cheers”? Can’t we find some funnier cheers alternatives? Whether you need an excuse to clink glasses or just want to add some fun to your social gatherings, here are some great options for saying “cheers” that might just become your new go-to drinking toasts!
"Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
The past is always tense, the future perfect.
May we be who our dogs think we are.
May our children be blessed with rich parents!
Pain makes you stronger.
Tears make you braver.
Heartbreak makes you wiser.
And vodka makes you not remember any of that cr*p.
"Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy." -
Here’s to being naughty and saving Santa a trip.
Here's to a long life and a happy one. A quick death and an easy one. A good girl and an honest one, a cold pint and another one.
Another day another bender. No retreat no surrender.
Here’s to staying positive and testing negative!
May we all have the chance to prove that money can’t make us happy.
"As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
Here’s to those who wish us well,
All the rest can go to hell.
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists, and may each one of us always give the devil his due." - Neil Gaiman
To the holidays—all 365 of them.
May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alike - without grounds.
Here's to the bride
And here's to the groom
And to the bride's father
Who'll pay for this room.
Here’s to the nights we’ll never remember
With our friends, we’ll never forget.
Here’s to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you don’t do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again!
Here’s to you. You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot!
Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.
"Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends." - Tom Waits
Here’s to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. His last words were “Drink to me.” Who am I to question genius?
May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.
Here's to the man who is wisest and best
Here's to the man who with judgment is blest,
Here's to the man who's as smart as can be –
I drink to the man who agrees with me!
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
Here is to the groom with a bride so fair, and here is to a bride with a groom who is so rare.
May we always be fired with enthusiasm for our work and never fired enthusiastically by our clients!
May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
I know it’s Christmas, but here’s to another day of being at the office, because once again, I’m doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred-year-old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
Here’s to alcohol, which often makes one see double and feel single.
To clean glasses and old corks.
To a fine man who remembers where he came from. Of course, that's about all he remembers.
The first draught a man drinks is for thirst,
The second is for nourishment,
The third is for pleasure
and the fourth for madness.
To your very good health. May you live to be as old as your jokes.
May the wind at your back always be your own.
Here’s to the storks that bring good babies, the crows that bring bad babies, and the swallows that bring no babies at all!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." - Ogden Nash
"Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,
Sermons and soda-water the day after." - Lord Byron
Here's to champagne, and, well... to more champagne!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, and quick to make friends!
Take everything in moderation, including moderation.
May all your troubles last as long as your new year’s resolutions.
May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: “This drink’s on me.”
May we never go to hell but always be on our way.
Here’s to your liver!
May it live as long as you last.
You’re a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor.
"May you live all the days of your life." - Jonathan Swift
"It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason." - W. C. Fields
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough." -
If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up.
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Cheers to poor decisions.
May we get to Heaven, a full half-hour before the devil knows yer dead.
Let's hope this year is easier than keeping those 'healthy living' resolutions.
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow your resolutions begin.
May your heart be light and happy. May your smile be big and wide. And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside.
Here’s to it,
And to it again.
When you get to it,
and can’t do it;
Come see me,
because I’m used to it!
May we live to learn well
And learn to live well.
Who loves not women, wine, and song,
He will be a fool his whole life long.
He who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow,
Lives as he ought to,
And leaves an honest fellow.
Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic.
Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same.
Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life.
So let’s get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life.
To every lovable girl in the land,
I offer this little libation.
For if ever they all left the country at once,
We’d be left in a state of stagnation.
Here’s to doing and drinking,
Not sitting and thinking.
To high winds and mermaids!
May the roof above us never fall in,
And may we friends gathered below
Never fall out.
When the liquor is inside,
The pain goes elsewhere.
Remembering good St. Patrick, who by strategy and stealth, drove all the snakes from Ireland. Here’s toasting to your health. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again.
Rejoice, and be of good cheer!
For they are out there, and we are in here!
"Let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies." - Holly Black
"Here’s to the big bull in the wood.
He does the cows and heifers good.
If it weren’t for his long, long rod,
Then what would we do for beef, by God?" - Mark Twain
Here’s hoping you live forever. And mine is the last voice you hear.
To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage: Here’s to a good sense of humor and a short memory!
To work — the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom.
To the kisses we’ve snatched and vice versa!
To bread, without bread, there’d be no toast.
Here's to those who've seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can't tell the difference.
I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know.
Over the teeth, over the gums,
Look out, stomach, here it comes!
May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road.
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed.
"Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the “good life,” whatever it is and wherever it happens to be." - Hunter S. Thompson
"Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!" - Groucho Marx
Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.
The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink.
“Happy birthday! Now that you’re old enough to be a father, I have only one thing to say to you: Live long enough to be a problem to your children.”
Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy. But enough about me here’s to you.
Here is to love that never grows old, and if it does, let’s hope by that time we’re too old to leave each other and start new marriages.
Here’s to the only day I will ever be a morning person, December 25th.
Life’s a waste of time and time’s a waste of life, so let’s get wasted all the time and have the time of our lives.
Here's to milk, eggs, bread, and cinnamon.
To Hell. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there.
May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers.
Here's to those who have seen us at our worst and still showed up here anyway.
May your beautiful lips never blister!
If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean’s not beer, and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up.
May the bloom of the face
Never extend to the nose.
God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer, both great and small. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all!
May the face of every good news
And the back of every bad news
Be towards us.
God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer both great and small.
Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all!
I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses.
To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
To us, for this is the youngest we’ll ever be and the oldest we’ve been.
A toast to all the champagne we'll drink tonight, and all the coffee we'll drink tomorrow.
To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes.
Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends.
Here’s to the brilliant, warm, handsome... a company that you keep.
May your liquor be cold, may your women be hot. And may your troubles slide off of you slicker than snot.
To another twirl around the sun!
May you live to be a hundred years old with one extra year to repent.
Happy birthday to you for years to come. We’ll explore them together for a life filled with love, joy, and fun. Happy birthday, darling!
When climbing the hill of prosperity, may we never meet a friend coming down!
To the fall of the Roman Empire, may ours be just as memorable.
Drink to life and the passing show
And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know.
Here’s to Dame Fortune; may she smile upon you.
May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune.
Here’s to the glass we love so to sip,
It dries many a pensive tear;
’Tis not so sweet as a woman’s lip
But a damned sight more sincere.
I drank to your health in the company, I drank to your health alone,
I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own.
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick ending and a happy one,
A good girl and a pretty one,
A cold bottle and another one.
May all your ups and downs be under the covers!
Here’s to the girls who do
And here’s to the girls who don’t
And here’s to the girls who say they never will,
But when the time comes, won’t.
But here’s to the girls most of all,
Who says they never will:
“I can’t. I won’t, I shan’t, I don’t!
…but just for you, I will.”
May the best of your past be the worse of your future.
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
And never catch up.
"Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching." - Satchel Paige
Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.
The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because it’s the present.
To those who have seen us at our best and at our worst, and still can’t tell the difference.
Here’s to a night on the town, new faces all around, taking the time to finally unwind, tonight it’s about to go down!
Another year has passed, and you’re no older than the last!
May poverty always be a day’s march away.
Here’s that we may eat the hen that scratches on our grave.
Drink to fair woman, who, I think,
Is most entitled to it;
For if anything drives men to drink,
She certainly can do it.
To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there.