It's so easy to get an answer to any question nowadays: just Google it! Although I am thankful for Google and can't really imagine how we managed without it before, it can be a wondrous and bizarre place of unexpected searches.

Now, imagine what your cat would search on the internet and post it here!

#1

lrut;weghl;wthgj;welthlsoi
znb,bv,glrezffshkgfs
mouse mousse recipes
how to catch the red dot
how to scratch hooman perfectly
how catch birb
2ieufhp;owhaois
how to keep hooman off gud fur

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Readingstarwiz
Community Member
1 month ago

lol yes

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#2

Cute human pics
How to explore the world outside your door
Gourmet artisinal cat treats and cat grass gift baskets
Cat condos in the upper westside

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𝑬𝒄𝒉𝒐
Community Member
1 month ago

I Love this 😉

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#3

How to get your hooman to buy you even more food than you have and need

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Pavlina G
Community Member
1 month ago

Indeed. How to get unlimited kibbles.

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#4

Best catnip in the area

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#5

aremyterdsedible

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Orange
Community Member
1 month ago

if anyone doesnt understand this it means, ¨Are my turds edible?¨

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#6

Why the hooman is so mad I scratched her
Why are mice so yummy
Why is my litterbox dirty
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse

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Night Owl
Community Member
1 month ago

Mouse

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#7

How too cleer serch histery so hooman cant post on BP

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PineappleQueen
Community Member
1 month ago

Love this

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#8

How can I meaw to ask more wet food from mom

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Pavlina G
Community Member
1 month ago

And give me the whole can instead of sharing with my brother.

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#9

How to grab the light beam

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Night Owl
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Later: How to catch the red dot

#10

How to explain to my owner that I want and don't want pets at the same time

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Kateryna
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This is so relatable!

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#11

How to make objects bounce after you push them off the table
(Hint: first result will be "practice makes perfect")

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#12

Icanhascheezburger

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Raven Sheridan
Community Member
1 month ago

How to kill humans and get away with it.

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#13

Search: How to get your hooman’s attention
First Result: Sit on their face.

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Amber Vandermallie-Walker
Community Member
1 month ago

or smack them when they sleep

#14

how to catch that damned red light

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ImaGayPerson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

YES

#15

Howtosteelzmonee

howtulietourhoomanthatuhavnthadtreetz

thebestplacetuleevaturd

howtumakamesssss

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Amber Vandermallie-Walker
Community Member
1 month ago

ahh i died laughing when i read the 3rd one and my mom yelled at me and told me to do my work :( lmfao tho bro

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#16

Are you kidding? like my cat would wake up for long enough to type something.

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PineappleQueen
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Lol

#17

How to catch bird
How to open door
How to kill dog
amazon
how do you sell something on amazon
how do you sell dog on amazon
flea remover pills
how do you give hooman pills without dem looking
dinners with bird
how do you remove a collar

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SeaShell
Community Member
4 weeks ago

You better watch your dog...

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#18

Cat 1
How to steal sister's food
Fighting strategies
Why am I being called "Chonky"

Cat 2
How to stop brother from stealing food
How to make hooman luv me
Best ways to get petted

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The Super Bumblebee
Community Member
1 month ago

YES

#19

howtogrowthumbs

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River Webb
Community Member
4 weeks ago

evolution at its finest

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#20

litter boxes near me
claw manicures
what does "awww floofy" mean from a hooman
how to catch fish
xqscwevgrbtryjiol

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#21

pasta
pasta
pasta
pasta
yellow pasta
green pasta
pasta
can cat eat pasta
how to take over world
pasta
pasta

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Hufflepuff girl
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Pasta

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#22

How to know if kitten is mine

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#23

how to get drunk on catnip
why does my human throw out my gifts
does my human know there is a demon hiding in the kitchen
how to throw up on the rug the proper way
when will humans accept cats as our overlords

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#24

the cat who caught the red light

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#25

howtogetthethtupiddogintrouble
howtosmugglecatcrackintomycondo
howtorudelywakeupmyhoomaninthemiddleofthenight
bestplacestoleevahairball

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Night Owl
Community Member
1 month ago

Results of the last one: carpet and clean clothing

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#26

Human, I am an intellectual being
If you are going through my search history
Then i demand wet food

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LONDYN BROWN
Community Member
4 weeks ago

(buys 1000000lb of wet foood) * cat: yes! yes! i hypnotised hooman!

#27

Why is compooter so comfy?
rfehbyfgbhjcn ';jvhy7gh
Why hooman get mad at me for slapping them
Tuna price
cat food
Are cats bipolar?
Why does hooman sleep when it's 3:00?

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#28

How to get high off catnip 101

Why doesn't my human let me in the bathroom

Why am I so fat? Biography of a cat named Matt

efhergiuhguvrvefhiee4ihf4iof

How to show my love for my human? Mice or dice?

[email protected]"TheJoysofSteak."

-I don't have a cat but I love them so I made it up :)-

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SeaShell
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I feel you, Matt

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#29

how to politley bite my owner

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Loralie Chase
Community Member
1 month ago

OMG lmfao but seriously, how do you?

#30

How to reattach your balls

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Pavlina G
Community Member
1 month ago

LOL.

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#31

why does my human insist on touching me so much?

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#32

hhow to cathc the red dot
tasty mouse resipes
how 2 get hooman to fed me exctra food
tasty ffish
how too take over the world
tasty mice in my areea
MEOWWW HISSS AAAAAA NO NO BATH IS BAD
how to convinse hooman to not gib bath
how to trayn hooman to follow commands
YUM YUM I LOVE CATNIP YUM YUM TASTY YUM MEW MEW
how to tell if hooman is stoopid
are poops bad forr you
can you eat poops
how too tell if im a Nyan cat
aajkfsgddew fferfiewdw defjwerf f
why do hooman pspspsspspspspspspsspspsps to me
why do hooman summon the dark lord of cats with pspspss
evill red dot
red dot trayning
i lik nyan cats
how to eat budgie bird withowt hooman seeing
tassty budgie recipess
meow mew

hi, I don't own a cat (or a budgie for that matter) but was bored and decided to make this. hope you had a good laugh or two!!

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LONDYN BROWN
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Oh yea i did LOL!

#33

How to open doors
How to break windows with paws

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#34

how to build up love from your humom `and then bite there T EOS

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Amber Vandermallie-Walker
Community Member
1 month ago

their TEOS i love it oml

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#35

Expensive things that come in boxes

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#36

catnip drug dealers in my area
stupid dog videos
how to create more hell
why doesn't hooman like glass cups on da floor
how to create black holes
why my hooman wants to do the mouse (what the cats hear when we say meow)
meow

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I travel. I seek the Parmesan.
Community Member
2 weeks ago

LMFAO OMG CATNIP DEALERS HAHAHHAAHAHAH

#37

wikihow.com/howtoeathumanhair+ews-we
wikihow.com/howtomakemyhumanangry+ar+e
wikihow.com/howtogetawaywitheatingallmyfood+wsa
wikihow.com/ismylittereditable?+fed

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#38

How climb shoulders
How annoy human
Why loves I human
How get best scratches
How annoy dog
Why dog no loves me
Best sleepy position

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hey, not my problem
Community Member
1 month ago

the logical conclusion..... dog no loves me cause me search ways to annoy dog

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#39

hxjsixbjskxndjdkcnssrn

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Luthian
Community Member
1 month ago

How to make human feed me more

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#40

How to bulk buy Dreamies :)

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Lorelai Purvis
Community Member
1 month ago

what are dreamies

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#41

ways how to get my human to pet me

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#42

how do yoo open foodies

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#43

How to rap bird body for gifting
why do humans talk to us in their own language
top 15 best DIY furniture makeover using only claws

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#44

1how to make ur Hooman give cat rats
2catazon hooman litter box
3cat coupons
I don't have a cat but I imagine -w-

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#45

How to order boxes from Amazon
How to frame the dog
Thumb exercises
Catnip dealers nearby
Philosophy books: The meaning and importance of the red dot Vol I.-III.

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#46

How to catch the red dot

How to catch mouse

How to escape out of a door when hooman opens it to get groceries out of the car

Why is hooman in my poop box

Alternatives for poop box

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#47

How to escape house
How to do most damage to dad's legs
How to open doors
How to find cat treats
How to open cat treats bag
How to hide evidence of eating ice cream
How to open closet door
What shoes do I sit on
How to steal dog's food
How to stop dog steal my food
What does fuzzy mean
How to poop in neighbor's yard correctly
What does 'Good job pooping in neighbor's plants' mean from human
What does hooman mean by that lady is trying to catnap me
Where to best take nap
How to eat hair without hooman noticing
How to become paper shredder
What does catnip smell like
How do i open cabinet
How do i spray catnip
uroswanvjervne
iemvqujnerr
imhighoncatnip
fjnadorbg
cuddlefloorcuddlefloorcuddlefloor
How to steal ice cream from human
How to distract human and get milk

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#48

Fish recipes

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#49

How to: Dominate the world, kill all creaturez and hoomanz, have endless yummy treatz and make professional petting robots

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#50

if i had a cat:

qkfbdofof;;jhgg
boxez
mys
mys
how 2 rule ovr humns
how 2 maill dogs 2 de moon
how 2 sstop tyny humn frm touchng mii
how 2 gt owt of de pownd

our cat would not be a very good speller LOL

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LONDYN BROWN
Community Member
4 weeks ago

lol

#51

wut privacy mean
new rug for hooman to clean my vomit
boi cats
how to talk 2 hooman
how to ask for food in hooman
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip organic
catnip gourmet
more catnip
CATNIP

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#52

how to kil hooman

y do baby chase me

y hooman yel wen i puke on floor

how 2 anoy hooman

how 2 get in hooman room

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#53

Google search History:
Are cats really fluid
If i fits I sits
how to grow your own cat nip
how to lay on hoomans face without smothering them
why do hoomans like water so much
what does neuter mean?
grumpy cat

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#54

why hoomans no like songs of my people
wet food stores nearby
how to annoy dog
how to get drunk on catnip
jkahnlukjantkjnsmd

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#55

How to get more treats.
How to meow louder.
How to get out the door.
How to try to trick my human into giving me wet food.

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#56

Catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
catnip

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Community Member
4 weeks ago

I swear my cat just can't get enough with the catnip! I give it to him once a week soon as he gets it he bounces off the walls

#57

how to ecsap from cta bed
install htea vent
treats
trtesa
wheer is catnip
catlip plant
vocal exercise fro cat
mweo

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#58

letmeout: the biography.
amozon password
treats
how to get treats
wheredowegointhemetelmonsters

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SnomMaster
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I would buy "letmeout: the biography".

#59

how to open a can

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#60

shipping prices of twelve boxes of salmon

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#61

fghjmfdsasdfgnm,mnnbvcxsdfghnm
how to make hooman slave
opposable thumbs,who needs them
how to suffcate hooman
sadfghjkloi876543ewdsfghjuki8765trdgfhj
yummy cat treats

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#62

i dont have a cat but if i did:

how to take over the world


how to be da bigest pest to da hoomans

result:run around house,at top speed, on a trail of plastic bags, with your kittens running behind you meowing to play with your tail

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#63

How to scratch my hooman while he is in school and not get yelled @?????????????

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#64

sdtkyyyrdfky,m
how to trick the dog
101 ways to kill a mouse
8ubjkwk
ways to keep your hooman awake at 3 in the morning
whats the best thing to knock of the table
56edcikfvj5evbrntk

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Imtiredandiwannagotobed
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Man, that last one is interesting, tell me more

#65

-h0w 2 get hooman to make meh gurrmet meels
-h8w tooo do crookshanks from hairy purrter makeupp
-wy do my child humman call me kitty kitty meow meow
-huw to kach redd dott w/tips
-r cats betr than dogs?
-meow
-famos kittys in hisstury

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#66

How to get catnip and extra treats

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#67

Cat's search history: How To Serve Dog

Me looking at screen, puzzled, then horrified...

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GalaxyZo
Community Member
4 weeks ago

why is this downvoted??? i upvwote UwU

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#68

Wetfoodz sale
Toilet wahetr
wedfood
pspspsps sound ten hourz
amazon.com//temptationssalmoncattreats
how to getz outsides
cat treets fancy yumy cat treetz

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#69

Why my tail floof?
How to rid of dog
How to kill dog
1000 ways to poach a dog
Why dog snoot other dogs bum
Why dog has big snoot
Dog trap
How to mail dog
How to be dog

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#70

I have two cats, so the *'s will be for one, ~'s for the other.

*How to catch burd
*Why cant catch burd
*why no treats
*burrds
*TUNA
*why burd
*how burd
*where tuna
*how treats

~where to hide
~sneky
~treatssss
~where can hide
~why brother like burd
~TREatss

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#71

101 ways to serve meeses
how to grow lush cat nip
The Kats Meow (kitty porn website)
best ways to annoy your hooman when they be busy
hooman behavior explained
fastest way to sharpen your claws
The Kats Meow
quickest way to piss of da doggie
kitty yoga to help get in weird sleeping positions
Meowing tips and tricks to be as loud and obnoxious as possible at 3:30 in the morning
The Kats Meow
What makes yarn so enticing, is it the color or the texture
enhance your barfing experience
The Kats Meow

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#72

how kill hooman in slep

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#73

places that serve mouse
cute pictures of humans
why does my butt taste good
dating websites for cats

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#74

How to make human give up bed and give it to cat instead

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#75

Thumbs
Why won’t my human let me sit on their keyboard
Best place to satisfy the itch
Why does dry food exist
How to get rid of dog without humans knowing
Why do my humans yell at me when I eat the plants

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#76

Cat-hooman pocket dictionary
1000 ways to confuse hoomans
The purrrfect murder: a cats story

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#77

Why human says im a bumblebee
How to look like a bumblebee
How to be cute like a bumblebee
How many food i get for being a bumblebee
What is a bumblebee

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I travel. I seek the Parmesan.
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Hot cats in my area https://1800big.bad.dealers.com/catnip-organic/search?-query.sdk.565t.48768y5rh https://cato.com//get-the-treats-you-need.fddf/fsaf-dfaf/adf2 wheres my ballz?

#78

Why do hooman don't leave my house after feeding me?

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#79

dfodvijoncmsakmck
fsdfokoqos[dvodvio
kill dog
sell dog
kill human
no get pets from humaan
hfgvim
weird red dot that oddly attracts me
hiw to catch dot
how to murder the dot

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#80

How to hunt and eat humans?

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I travel. I seek the Parmesan.
Community Member
2 weeks ago

catching the dot 101

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#81

To bite, or not to bite?
cans I really fits?
is Chester dog yummy?
what is movie "Don't f***k with cats" about? Netflix
Is there even Cats in "Don't f***k with cats"?
dumb bird videos
Best Art gallery near me

(Yes he would totally use question marks in google searches. and chester is my dog if you are wondering)

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#82

how can i make hooman give food

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#83

zae[email protected]#$%^&*(0iouhgfdgwcrdvbnkyukghfghfrxtecyrv6utgjyhkujngfcdtnex45yrf6utgyhujminhubgyvfcd
Fish

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Imtiredandiwannagotobed
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Hmm, interesting

#84

whyihavnospace
whydahumanssoweerd
qawzsxdrtfvgbhuijnkm
howtokilladoggo

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#85

y do hooman kiid chase me wif stic
do hooman take pill to?
gorge mowington
y me nam is boobo ber
how to scratch hooman and get awae
qwerrtyufvdfnfvfc
asdfghjkldrvhkjf

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#86

"Why does Catnip make me feel so weird??"

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#87

Howtostopyorhoonansdaughtarsfromannoyangu

Howtostealtunas

HowtoscratchhoomAnansintheperrrfectpLace

Hwotoannoyshooman

Hewstogethoomantonotsignorsu

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#88

How to strangle a human
World domination for cats
How to catch the red dot
how do I rip open the food bag
How to hide poop

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Effie Mason
Community Member
4 weeks ago

...........

#89

Why dus hooman pet meh?
How to scere smol humn?
how kil dog?
How to perfom skrach and run?
Purina stocks
why is compooter so comfu7?
Catnip delers in floriduh
how to hid3 catnip smel frum hoomin?

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#90

messed up i meant:
howetwo spek englashfor morfod
Cutemale puursians nearmeh
Mail purrsians nearsme
catfod 100%of
freecatsfood
frecantood
toyesfroktty

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#91

Why do hoomans close doors
How make hooman stop petting other kittens

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#92

how to kill hooman 🥺

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#93

How to kill hooman
How to make hooman happy
Why hooman touch me

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#94

Why are my hoomans trying to poison me with evil cat food?
How to get ride of foster fur brother?
What is the best time to wake hooman up?
Where can I buy popcorn?

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#95

Best catnip to buy nearby
How to trick human so you can scratch her

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#96

where to buy mice

how to kill vacuum cleaner

why don't humans lick themselves

why do humans only sleep at night

how to get attention

how to make humans keep stroking you

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#97

"how to wake up my human in the middle of the night"

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#98

how make hooman annoyed
jscj8667saf
catnip.fish
how find mouze

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#99

egfer
how to wake hooman up at 3 am in the annoyingest way possible
jdbhksfd bvfsn vrskth42ubt 4th853r
njrbsgvkbr
how to catch red dot
vndngvjrks
the dissapaerence of the red dot story
me catch birb
hooman does not like
jdfbjkDBSJGrSJFK
hooman eats birb for dinner
hooman logic
how to walk across the keyboard like a pro

rgvbwjabgrvjuBSGUJVr;jsBGuw4u75t714gtu;vm8tp9 4w

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#100

How to get the hooman to install a catflap so i can annoy her constantly
How to phase through a door

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#101

Asmr can opener sounds to relax to
House fly footage to keep your reflexes sharp
How wet food is really made
Hot lady lions in the wild xxx

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#102

sartkijop#]
fdiunchu9btttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
tttttttttttttt
how to catch red dot
r5jhigioreosa54
laser pointer
aantomi of hoomen
jihw29oera
bstjhhssjg
tyrtryuy5uuuuuuuuuuu
chezburjer
5yhjjk'

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Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

crap i forgot "let me through the door" and "where hoomen eyes locate"

#103

How to annoy hoomans as much as possible, how to kill Hooman, cute human pictures, best places to nap, jnkcerifbefjivbiefhfivjihe&rheijehrighierhgigerbjkfebjrgi,

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#104

Yehgdjhoshus. Db dhhd mou se catch

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#105

In or Out? The Ultimate Question

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#106

how to ask hooman for cuddles

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#107

Nojwncjojosiajx
How catch mouse
How catch dog
How catch bird
Cednmoskmzisjfjr6snsnlkm
How ask hooman for food

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#108

How to make nuclear launch buttons more cat accessible

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#109

You mean MY search history? I'm the hoMEOWner.

best easy tips for driving (for cats)

best weapons of destruction 2020 (opposable thumbs not needed)

how to convince your human's dog to serve you

fastest ways to take over the world

how to get treats from a high shelf

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#110

oh mfelceexknlx dwcdwoh wbdouqsisjldwkdwjecvxejvxjwvxk

Efljfehfeodwkzwnlzwnl

meow

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#111

how to make meow treats
how to make lazer beam
how to catch red dot
how to kill humen
how to take over the world with lazer bem
how to act like humen
how to get female kat to wike me
youtube vids for kats
how to get more fwod fwrom humen

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#112

i don't have a cat so i'm gunna try

why dog like chase me?
how to get dog in truouble?
why hooman yell when find turd in bed.
why never blame dog for turds.

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#113

How to get your coat to really shine
Who's the prettiest kitty
How to get your hooman to stop touching and just wook at me
How to play with a hooman
Why do hoomans think I mean when I give eye kisses?

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#114

How to grow thumbs
Can humans feel pain
Why do the humans keep stealing my poop
Why are carpets nice to sit on
Catnip Dealers near me

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#115

How do I geet my moom to get rid of my baes kittens
how to find food in the bush
how to get insiedddddd

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#116

Train my hooman
Why sleeping on a keyboard so good
How decide I want in or out
Mausamisu recipe
Best way to kill that dog
How be more fluffy

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#117

best cat weed (catnip)
Wet food
How do i makes the hooman listens?
Cat dentists

My four cats bud, jr, ruby and lily's search history

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#118

Hitman 4 dog nextdr
R invisblty cloks rl
How get human to lv me alon
hw to git red dot
blk mrket 4 catnp

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#119

Piswhvpwhdcpiwhdcpiwhdvpihwdpvihwpdjvhlwkdhfpakdhvpnasvpkandpvknwpdkvhapjdhvpwkhdpviharpkvh
Hooman has brought a smal fluf how do I kil it weiugqohevboquegouqgeougeougoqugfoqjgogjboejboqjefboqjbebljqbfljbbljfblqjefgljqebf
Hooman hid fud Bcjbfvojbwvojnhvjwnsslv
Dbfoejbvosjbdvosjbdvosjbdovjbsdobjbsobvsojfvbosjbdgojsbd
How kil bird ipfehpwidhfpiwehfpwkhefpkhwpfkhepwkdhf
Abcsoahbdcoajbdcojbaslfjboajbfohwbrgowjbrgowjrbflajrbf

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#120

-how to shut up? -what does no mean? -how to make humans think I’m nice but then kill them? -is it ok to have favourites? -hduejwoxhenwkwiwoqoqjwjd

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#121

How to turn on water tap
'Get off my face' meaning

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#122

Cat One:
Why doesn't Cat Two eat treats
Why can't I eat the treats Cat Two won't eat
Best types of cat food.
How to get free cans of Fancy Feast.
Cat Two:
adfsdtrfdfhjjd
yfdudjdfljfoheofhdio
suduagdcydu
dgudgusdgf
dyyhffjdytssjwii

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#123

Meow

Meowmeow

Meowmeowmeow

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Boopboopboop

Jkdkdmfjjvjfkvk

SnootSNOOT

Meepmeepmeep

Howmskaks

Howw tooo discable hooman vacumm

How too usey mathes

Howw tooooo mak ginormus messez

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#124

Box
Box
Box
amazon
howtogrowthumbz
alsjhdlkfjhasdsk
temptations
howtoforcehoomantogetwetfood
kittykastle
whyinolikewater

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#125

Not my cat but my friend's :P

how to get run over by car
how to whine for food then reject it
asdf4el[9
how not scare great dane
how to jumpscare kookumbur
where is the snaks hiding

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#126

How to take over the world
How to get rid of a fish without getting in trouble
Where to find catnip
How to get the FBI of your tail

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#127

World Domination for kittens

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#128

what is blep
how to git mere box
catnip bad hadit?
why slave be pet me
hoew to geet untigle froom stbring blaw

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#129

How to take overz world
Catnip drug deeler
How to capture evilz red dot
Craigslist
How to sell dog on Craigslist
How to wake hooman at 4 am
Y hooman not like birb present
Y hooman yell when i bringz live prey
How to blackmail hooman into give me treats
How to get petz
What is “Chonky”
https//Amazon.com/boiCatz

-human-: how to stop my cat from searching things on Google.

-cat-: why hooman try to password protec googel

...I wish I had a cat

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Aaron Chavez
Community Member
4 weeks ago

😂😂the catnip drug dealer got me dead asf

#130

how to kill the red dot
how to get rid of canine neighbours
top cat apartments in los angeles
tasty mice recipes
catbumble.com/profile/lillyanne-catnip/
fanfiction.net/tom-and-jerry
how to get stupid alley cats away from your girl
how to change name from jack to loki

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#131

how come I jumped off the roof and I am still here?

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#132

How to scratch hooman harder
How to make my hooman gimme goode food
Why am i trapped in big kitty litter thingy

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#133

Where my catnip hidden?

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#134

This is not my cat but my friends cat.
1. Most amazing catnip ever
2. Why dont my hoomans pets me enogh
3. why does my hoomans say if i fits i sits

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#135

MEEEEEEEEEW
Why is there fluffy cold stuff falling from the sky
Where did my owner go
I’m getting a bit old
What is that?

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#136

how say sorry to hooman
how steal treat
how scratch everything

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#137

Egyptian cat worship
Tips for sharpening nails
Best spots to bite human when done with rubs
What’s behind that closed door?
Bottle cap hockey
Best hours to sing song of my people
How to mess with dog

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#138

Well, I don’t have a cat, but I can be my doggy’s
Jazzy
How to make sister want play
How to get all the treats
How to brake the side of my kennel
How to get all the good girls
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Tillie
How to get rid of the new dog without the humans knowing
How to be less short
How to get that one really aggravating squirrel
Can I eat this
Why doesn’t the gloogle know what the this is
How to get all the pets

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