Me and my sister just got our first apartment away from home. We haven't even fully moved in yet but I'm at a point where I'm cursing my dad for not giving us a bit of advice on what we choose. For instance, if you're going to get an apartment, it's best to choose a lower floor if you've got heavy furniture. Because lugging it up two flights of stairs? Yeah, it sucks.

Another thing I wish we'd known: most apartments won't take a dog over 80lbs here. It doesn't matter what his breed is, or if he's an extremely well-trained, child-friendly dog who went through obedience classes.

#1

That is ok to come back, to try again, to start over as many times you need. You dont need do feel shame if things do not go as planned.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

THIS, yes! And it's not just coming back home, either. Trying to have a good support system can really be a life saver for your mental health. Having relatives or friends to crash with for awhile, having some extra money to store your stuff in a storage facility or having friends who don't mind helping you move so you can save a ton instead of hiring movers, etc. So long as you're doing the best you can, there's no shame at all. Life is nothing if but a giant ball of uncertainty and learning as we go.

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#2

First time on your own you realize just how much your parents did for you. One thing that surprised me was just how much money it takes to buy normal things like toilet paper and dish soap. As someone else stated you have to have a budget but I never realized just how much of your money goes to just supporting yourself.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Not just that, but how much c**p you actually need! I think a lot of people move out just taking the bare minimum with them but they forget to budget or factor in for surprises. For example, you forgot you need a can opener or the 4 towels you brought really aren't enough or you buy some nice work clothes but forget to check the tags and suddenly find out that they all say "dry clean only", etc.

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#3

Newest construction doesn’t mean best. Sometimes finding an older apt building will give you more space, a more sturdy foundation and possibly less expensive rent.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Just wanted to add, do your homework on older buildings as best you can. If you're able, try and talk to people already living there, see what they have to say or what the rumors in the grapevine are. Older buildings can look okay from the outside but that doesn't mean much if you can't actually see the foundation (if they don't have basement access for extra storage or laundry facilities or they refuse you access). Same with the roof, how old the electrical system/wiring is when it comes to leaks or fires. 3 buildings in my area were just recently condemned for those kind of issues and the tenants were given 3 days to vacate while the city and the owners tried to figure out what to do next.

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#4

Use the time you're living for free at your parent's to make sure you have everything first. All your furniture, kitchen appliances, electronics, etc. Because once you're on your own and you start to pay for the rent, electricity, cable, internet, phone, food, etc, you won't have a cent left to buy those.

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adrianne tucker
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Remember 100 $5 things cost you $500!

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#5

Buy some liquid drain unclogger right f-ing now! Do NOT wait until needed. Drains are evil. They know when the stores close, and that's when they choose to clog.

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BadCat
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited)

Liquid drain uncloggers can be terrible on the pipes. It's corrosive stuff. Get a snake, some baking soda and vinegar, an old toothbrush or a bottle scrubber.

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#6

Your parents aren't being mean, we're trying to teach you life skills. Cooking dinner because Mom / Dad are tired that night? Life skill. Chores? Life skill. Paying Mom / Dad for that phone bill when you get your first job? Budgeting... life skill. Learn it and embrace it. 2) Pick your roomate(s) wisely. A friend of 20 years will still eff you over. 3 and this is the biggy.... remember the difference between WANT and NEED. You NEED a roof, you don't need 7 bedrooms. You NEED dishes, they can come from Goodwill. You NEED a bed, it doesn't have to be a sleep number right now. Get what you need not just what you WANT. WANTS can come slowly. Needs are right now. You don't NEED a TV. You don't NEED an Xbox / PS5. You don't NEED the loudest stereo system. You don't NEED matching everything and the best furniture right now.

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Racheal Birdsong-Bradley
Community Member
1 week ago

Just because your cousin is in need of a babysitter and offers you an amount per month (let's say $150 over your portion of rent) means they will actually pay you, but they will still expect you to pay your portion of rent. It ends badly, in my case, I couldn't pay my portion, she decided to attack me. Being a roommate isn't always ideal. My broken leg "healed" 20 years ago, but the titanium in it still hurts each winter.

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#7

remember to visit and call your mother. This is a difficult phase for her. She deeply misses u

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Robin913
Community Member
1 week ago

Not only mother, also left behind siblings and father

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#8

You should practice basic household chores, like laundry, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, cooking especially. Make sure to have these things in the bag. When you do, make sure you have a decent amount of money in a savings account. Start looking for places to stay BEFORE you move out. Make sure to really assess the places you check out. Ask yourself “Would I really enjoy living here?”. If all of these things are in the bag, you are ready to move out. Make sure to organize your stuff into boxes before calling the U-HAUL or before putting them in your car. Make sure to remember your new house address or apartment number. Good luck!

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Another good tip is to double check in the lease before signing if subletting or having roommates is allowed. In some places, the only people legally allowed to be in the apartment are the people on the lease. Try to do as much homework as possible before signing anything official.

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#9

Well, I was told many times but I didn't learn it until I was on my own--turn off the d*&! Lights! 😆

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Leslie Cookietown
Community Member
1 week ago

And unplugging seldom used appliances or lamps can save substantial amount of money!!

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#10

Do the dishes now, when your done cooking/eating. Don't wait. Very, very few thing truly need to "soak". Wash them as you make them, especially if you don't have a dish washer, because there will only be more later.

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April Dancer
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Don't wash them if you do have a dishwasher. Scrape yes, wash, no. It interferes with the sensors so you don't get a proper wash from your machine. At which time there's no point in having one.

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#11

Why my father chose my brother over me. I was living at home with my father. It was me, my husband and my 1 year old son at the time living there. My eldest brother had been living at my grandparents house, but ended up in jail after he came home drunk one night, found out that my grandmother had accidentally opened an envelope addressed to him and went off on her threatening her with physical violence....even going so far as to rip the phone out of the wall.

My father decided that my brother should move in with us so that he could keep an eye on him. My brother had been a raging alcoholic for most of his life...and very violent. I screamed at my father for putting me and my son in danger by letting him move in. "All he has to do is get drunk and hurt my son....I will never forgive you if that happens."

My father paid the cost of putting us into and apartment that we couldn't afford at that time. He tried helping us with rent...but we were also living in a neighborhood where gun shots outside weren't uncommon and someone was always getting beaten up in the parking lot every weekend.

My father finally realized it was an all around bad situation and had my brother put into an alcohol rehab center while allowing us to move back in. Two years later and my husband and I secured jobs that allowed us to move out on our own without financial help.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Just up voted to remove the negative down vote. I agree with Reyna, I don't know why people are down voting this. I'm glad you (Carol) and your family are doing much better now!

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#12

LOL that your landlord is not like your parents. They aren't going to help you with anything and everything, and might not even do what they SHOULD do.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

And if they don't do what they should do, know what options for recourse you have. For example who to report issues to and what you might or might not be allowed to do to try and correct the problem yourself. Knowing your rights and your lease is SO important. You might still have to live with the problem/s for awhile but knowing your options at least allows you to try and do SOMETHING, get things documented, etc.

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#13

Make a budget and stick to it. Include an emergency fund and retirement fund in your budget, and allocate money to them faithfully with every paycheck. Resolve not to raid either fund for beer runs, concert tickets, or a fancy night out on the town.

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Brenda
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Pay yourself just like any other bill. I used to give my dad whatever I wanted to save

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#14

Moving out doesn't mean you have to be alone. Still call home for help, hang out with your parents, spend the night in your old bedroom. It's one hell of a shift so give yourself time to adjust especially if you move out as soon as you are 18.

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Cathy Hurd
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I couldn't get out of my parents house fast enough.

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#15

Well, this probably doesn't go here. But anywho! Don't trust anyone to have your back. I let a friend go into my bedroom to make a private phone call ( back in the day when you had landlines). Some things were stolen. It was a girl too. Just saying. I stayed on my own barely able to eat and have gas to get to work and back. Because I didn't trust anyone to not go through my things if I wasn't there.

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Kelly D
Community Member
2 weeks ago

That's all sorts of messed up. I can't look in someone's bathroom cabinets when I'm at a friend's house much less their bedroom. Thankfully I never had a reason to snoop in my kids rooms when they were growing up.

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#16

1. Make a list of things that are important to you. Not just necessary things but little things that mean something. While you may not be able to afford everything, little things end up meaning a lot more than you think. So while most people don't care about having a long hot shower- I do. So it's important to have good water pressure and a good heat setting on the shower. Do you live in a cold weather? You'll need a place with a garage or plowing services. I wouldn't want to have to go to a laundromat every week so having a washer/dryer hookup is important to me.

2. If you're overweight, disabled, or just aren't a skinny athlete, you'll want to live on a first floor unless there's an elevator. You might think going up and down 3 flights of stairs is no big deal once in a while, but you'll end up getting lazy about taking out your trash, and you'll constantly be thinking about how you're going to carry it up in one trip. It might also change your activity in a negative way. The idea of going up and down the stairs in 90 degree heat might make you stay home instead of going out and doing something. So you procrastinate or become less social. You also have to check the weight of everything you order online; if you can't carry it up then you shouldn't order it.

2. Look at the apartment before you move in. And by look I mean, check the water pressure, check the windows (this is a big one), and notice any damages. If the apartment doesn't look like it's been taken care of, then chances are likely the landlord doesn't care and isn't going to fix things-- but it might not be something you necessarily care about if you're getting a good deal. Taking a long hot shower is important to me, so crappy water pressure is a big deal. If the windows aren't new or if there are gaps in the screens, expect to have higher heating and cooling bills ....and bugs.

3. Everyone says to pack a box with things you'll need right away, but I recommend more than that. Pack the things you'll use the first week. Otherwise you're going to force yourself to try and get it all done quickly and you'll be shocked how tiring a move is.

4. Schedule a grocery delivery if you can for the day before or for the following day after the move (get delivery the first night. That's moving law, lol). Rather than going to the store, have groceries delivered so you can relax a little. Also prep your fridge by putting in liners or organizers. You'll appreciate being able to not deal with groceries. Your body will be sore.

5. This one applies if you live in a house or first floor currently and are moving to a higher floor. If there are any heavy items you want to buy, get them before you move so that the movers will be able to carry them up for you. This applies to furniture, pantry items you can pack. So stock up on soups and heavy cans and bottled water. Also, does the place have central air? Is it hot in the summer? Then you'll need an air conditioner. Buy it before you move so the movers will carry it up and you'll be good to go for when summer comes. Otherwise, you'll have to go downstairs and lug them up yourself when they are delivered. Don't forget that deliveries in apts don't come to your door...they leave them in the mailing area or outside the front door. So any larger or heavy items you might need... get them before you move!

6. This one applies to me but I'm sure to others, too. I would highly recommend only renting if the landlord lives on site. If there are crazy neighbors causing noise or fighting or damaging the property, the landlord won't put up with it. But he doesn't live there, they won't care. It's the single biggest complaint tenants have is noisy crackhead neighbors and you'll be miserable having to call the cops over and over while the landlord does nothing. If he's there, though, then he won't put up with it and they'll be evited. People are also better behaved when they know the landlord lives there.

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AliJanx
Community Member
2 weeks ago

As an addendum to Point #3, make sure you take freshly washed, clean sheets & pillows (overall bedding items) and pack them last so that they are the first things removed when unpacking. When you get to the apartment, make your bed up the moment you set up your mattress/box spring - and set that up as soon as you possibly can. When you move, you're going to want to have a freshly made bed to fall into, but if you can't find your sheets, you're out of luck.

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#17

Your name is on the bills you create (rent, utilities, phone, cable, etc) so you are the one whose credit is affected by paying (or not paying) them. Good credit goes further than cash every time, and bad credit can sink you quicker than being broke.

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Whitefox
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Also, get a credit card and have it auto pay for something you would be paying for anyway such as your insurance. Have your Bank set to auto pay the credit card 2 days later. Now you are building good credit without having to think about it.

#18

That there are people who rent out illegally (their flat belongs to the city and by law, only them or their immediate family can inhabit it) and the contracts you sign are just between you and them, with zero validity in the eyes of law. I was dumb as hell and it was cheap, also the family renting out seemed nice and decent. Lasted a year, then me and my roommate were kicked out with zero notice. We learn by our mistakes, I guess.

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Racheal Birdsong-Bradley
Community Member
1 week ago

Know your rights as a tenant, lawfully there or not, some governments require prior notice of 2 to 4 weeks.

#19

That I'd finally be free.

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Shelley DuVal
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I am with you on that. I would live in a tent to have been free from a narcistic and abusive mother.

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#20

Make sure that you have light/lamps installed after you move in, otherwise you'll be sitting in a dark apartment on your first evening.
Also, for me, putting my 1000 books in paper bags instead of one big, very heavy box made moving in much easier. I would use this generally: Do make sure that your boxes are not to heavy. It required more trips, but it's so much easier, healthier and also prevents you from "accidents" where your boxe's floor opens because they're too heavy...
If you move in with someone then make sure that you're on the same page concerning generall cleanliness, cooking and lifestyle (e.g. bedtime, being able to be quiet when the other's sleeping,...)

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SparkleFarts
Community Member
2 weeks ago

OMG yes!!! I've had to essentially start from scratch a few times, and it's the lamps that always get me!!

#21

I've lived on my own since I was 17, and of course I had to adjust. I'm not sure if this applies, but I do wish someone told me how much you have to compromise, all the adjustments you make when you move in with your significant other. I'm independent, so sharing my life with someone was something I had to work at I moved in with my boyfriend 10 years ago, and it was really difficult at first. Sleeping in a bed with someone was really hard for me. I barely slept the first few weeks. Also, buying things. I'm not talking about big purchases like a car, or paying bills, just buy things I want. I'm pretty impulsive, and honestly not great with money, so if I was at a store and saw something I wanted, I would just buy it. But now, it's not just my money. I can't spend $200 on games, or clothes, because it's not just my money, it's our money. I figured it out, and we're still together, but we've both in the beginning had to learn how to live together.

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2x4b523p
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I lived alone for a while and I still sometimes miss it after 12 years with my husband and stepkids. Having bed to myself and all that is great but what I miss most is when I used to place “an item” somewhere, “the item” would still be there when I needed it. Now it’s just gone but nobody touched it or seen it or has any clue where “the item” is.

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#22

Get a budget account in the bank, so you know what to pay each month.

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jolie laide
Community Member
2 weeks ago

This is so important. Always have as much money as possible in your account BEFORE you move out. I'm from the US, so all of my comments are coming from that perspective, but when it comes to money in the bank I think this is pretty universal. Also I hope people remember that there's a big difference between living on your own, and joining an apartment/house as an additional roommate. Where I live, if you're joining an already established living situation, unless your name is going on the lease too, your roommates will rely heavily on oral agreements for rent, utilities, etc. between all of them. This can get really dicey VERY quickly. Maybe it's just me, but I insist on everything being in writing.

#23

My most astounding discovery was gravity actually works. My late father always complained that if he set an item down, it would not be there when he returned and it drove him nuts. When I got my own place I soon discovered an item set in place really does remain in place. So unmovable, that you could see the dust shadow if you did move the item. When ever I go to get something that hasn't been moved in months or years, I think of my father.

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Norma
Community Member
2 weeks ago

He had kids...

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#24

Don't move into your first place with a significant other. Learn who you are on your own first. You can always make changes to you and your SO's living arrangements down the road.

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#25

Move out when you can still move back in.

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Jennifer Hofman
Community Member
1 week ago

Yes, keep your options open.

#26

Caretakers are not landlords and not authorities to evict you. They can't just hand you an eviction notice because you don't have rent available yet on the morning of the 1st, and always get a receipt or some proof of payment when you hand in the rent.
Never accept an illegal eviction notice.
You will get discriminated for your age when you're searching for a place and after you move in.
Changes to how you pay utilities (included to not included with rent) is not normal, and the utility company will find it suspicious you're setting up an account for a place you've already been living at for some time.
Utility accounts can be stolen from you by someone else posing as you, live somewhere in your name, rack up debt on the account and you'll be on the hook to pay the debt when you move and do need to set up an account for the new place.
To prevent this, keep your old lease even after you moved. Keep any documents, such as taxes or anything that proves where you've lived during those years, and when you moved.
If a landlord does make a strange change with the rent agreement, get it in writing, call the tenant board, and contact the utility board to confirm of the changes are valid.

Keep all documents regarding leases, lease renewals, damage inspection reports before you moved in and just before you move out. Take pictures. Speak up about even the smallest things, such as chipped, peeling paint and stains.

Look for signs of infestations. Ask about infestations. Sometimes a landlord will spray for bugs before you move in and then later, when the insecticide wears off the bugs come back because they weren't properly exterminated. (Happened to some friends.)

Go to the local library archives department and do some sleuthing on the property. Sometimes you'll uncover untimely deaths on or around the property that have been forgotten.

Get tenant insurance!

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Debra McGeorge
Community Member
1 week ago

Renter’s insurance is a must! Many landlords don’t do the best job of taking care of things, and you need to be safe.

#27

If you're going to be renting, look up tenants' rights in your area. Lots of landlords try to take advantage of young renters, assuming you won't realize what your rights are. Depending on where you live, your government or your university may have a tenants' hotline where you can get free legal advice.

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#28

Whether you just met or you’ve been friends for years, roommates share a place to save money, for companionship, to feel secure and enjoy a stable
home life.
Planning to share a house or apartment? Before you unpack the boxes, you and your new roommate(s) should agree on how the household will operate. Simple rules help everyone know what to expect, eliminate conflict,
and make a house or apartment into a home.

The owner or primary lease-holder (“owner”) decides whether to hire a house cleaning service, and how costs will be divided. If no service is hired, then cleaning expectations for common areas should be part of the rental lease or addendum.

10 Roommate Rules:

1. The living room is neutral territory, setting the tone for your home. If only one room is always tidy, this is it. Each person must remove their things before going to bed each day. No one should ever worry about what the room will look like if they bring friends or colleagues over unexpectedly. Don’t feel
embarrassed by a mess or (worse) nag each other.

2. Bedrooms & desks are private territory. NEVER enter their room or touch their desk. Never comment on any chaos in their room. It is their space.

3. Each person buys their own food. Divide the fridge into mine, yours, and house sections. Try not to borrow food, but if you do, replace it (with the same brand) the next day. Reserve some pantry shelves for
“house” items such as cleaning supplies.

4. Pooling food and/or chipping in to prepare a simple meal together can be fun, and a chance to discuss house issues – and should be at least once a month.

5. Each person must wash their own dishes/load the dishwasher/tidy kitchen after each use. Don’t leave it for later or the other person.

6. If you own the property, assets that “belong to the house” appliances, dishes, furniture, artwork, lawn mower, satellite dish] are your responsibility. These are items that remain if the other person moves out. Don’t expect roomies to “chip in” for assets. Ditto for water, sewer, taxes & other basic expenses.

7. Common utilities like electric, internet, TV cable and gas are divided evenly. If phone use may be an issue, get separate land lines or cell phones.

8. Buy your own, don’t borrow, never mooch personal items like toiletries, pet food, magazines, stamps, printer paper, clothes and booze.

9. Don’t run out of the basics. Make a list of official “house items” such as cooking oil, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, charcoal, etc. used by everyone.
Tape a list on the fridge with a column for each person. When anyone notices a house item is running low (or spots a good sale), just buy it. Each person
records any purchases and prices on the list. At the end of each month, total the columns.
If “A” spent $17 on supplies, and “B” spent $27, the difference is $10. “A” then gives “B” $5. This way you are always “even”. No one feels they are always the one who pays. And you’ll never run out of toilet paper.

10. Don’t expect every roommate to be your greatest friend, share their intimate secrets, listen to your problems, loan you money, or invite you to join them on their next vacation. Such a relationship could very well develop, and that’s great bonus if it does...but don’t expect or demand it.

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Thecoolbonnie
Community Member
1 week ago

These are great rules, but I think diff situations, sometimes require diff sets of standards. I 100% agree though, having something in writing is SUPER Important, so you don't get.... "Oh! Sorry, didn't know I WASN'T supposed to do that"

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#29

Put things away after you use them. This will keep your house fairly tidy and a tidy house is better for your mental health.

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#30

Quality over quantity. Buy cheap, buy twice. Invest as you go in good quality household items and furniture - it’s worth it. Henry Hoover for example over a cheap alternative.
Try and have two month’s rent in savings if you’re renting to fall back on.
Save little and often - there are banking/ finance apps which round up your change, or take small amounts as often as you like.
Also, boil potatoes before trying to mash them!

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#31

Sit down with someone who has a household set up and make a list of things you need. I'm talking the things you take for granted: dishes, silverware, cups, dish soap, wash clothes, broom & dust pan, TOILET PAPER!!, body wash/shampoo, toothbrush, shower curtain, etc. You just don't realize you're going to need those things. Also, thrift stores are a great resource when it comes to getting a lot of first time essentials like dishes, cookware, furniture, and lamps. Buy it used and upgrade to new if needed when you have the money.

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Cathy Hurd
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Toothpicks! Everyone forgets toothpicks.

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#32

if moving in with a roommate, something that is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to talk about is how much noise and activity you like at home. if you're the type of person who needs to come home from a long day at work and exist quietly in your room alone, try not to live with someone who needs to come home from work and blast music. even if it's good music.

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#33

"Don't go, you're too young, your father's banned from this house!"
Also, realistically, "Don't forget to take an all-purpose soap". My first apartment was a rhododendron thicket. Since it was that or Rageacholic Dad with tendencies to strangle... I must say, I had worse apartments in *buildings* than that thicket.

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Jennifer Hofman
Community Member
1 week ago

This is sad. I hope you're doing good now.

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#34

Do not expect to have all the things your parents home has, it took them years to accumulate it. Sometimes people think they are supposed to instantly have it all and go into debt. Get the basics and the rest will come a bit at a time.

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#35

With your new found freedom comes many responsibilities whether you want them or not.

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#36

That living all by yourself can be really lonely and that doesn't mean you can't hack it away from Mommy and Daddy. It means you are a human being who enjoys social contact. That's a good thing.

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#37

Never move into a place without all the utilities ALREADY ON. Water, power, gas etc should all be working perfectly already or don't move in. I once lived with no water for 3 months because the new landlord told me he would fix it, never did. I moved out over it.

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#38

Pay an extra $10-$20 a week in rent so when it comes to Christmas 🎄 or your go on holidays your rent is covered for a period of time :)

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BadCat
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Depends if the landlord or mgmt allows for that. When I overpay I actually get a letter in a tone similar to if I were owing, telling me to only pay the amount I owe and not more than that. The other mgmt I was with just allowed it to accumulate, which was helpful during those times when work is light.

#39

Buy a bottle opener.

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Debra McGeorge
Community Member
1 week ago

And have a cold beer in hand for all the guys helping. Just one’s all they need, and it’ll be greatly appreciated.

#40

Beware of credit cards! My "learning curve" when I moved out was tossing around the plastic too much while I was settling in. Too many unwise purchases later, I was stuck in debt to the point where I had to weigh which bills to pay, and how little food I could get away with eating.

You need things that are cheap but not going to disintegrate in a week. Shop second-hand stores and yard sales. Shop dollar stores for things like dish soap, etc. And learn how to eat on the cheap! If you don't know how to cook, now is the time to go on YouTube and learn!

Don't buy disposable stuff like cleaning wipes, paper towels and mop heads. Use old towels or old ripped up t-shirts, a sponge mop and a spray bottle with some distilled water for basic cleaning. You can find other resources for cleaning on the cheap online.

Cleaning house isn't optional. Your landlord can tag you hard for being a slob, especially if causes damage, and your guests will ~absolutely~ judge you if they see a dump, so keep it tidy and make sure you don't do any damage to your apartment. If you see something wrong, report it in writing to your landlord immediately.

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#41

Don't buy moving boxes; go to the local liquor store and ask to take some collapsed boxes. Alcohol is heavy and those boxes hold the weight very well.

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Šimon Špaček
Community Member
1 week ago

Or banana boxes from supermarket. Durable, easy to carry, easy to stack and about the right size for most things.

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#42

Why would you need your father to tell you that heavy furniture is harder to carry upstairs? That's common sense, isn't it?

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Hannah
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Lol It definitely is. But I needed examples and that was the first that came to mind. We'd literally JUST gotten done moving it furniture in when I sat down to write this. Haha

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#43

You can always come home. Any time, for any reason.

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#44

I love you.
I don't remember ever hearing that growing up and that's one reason I moved out at such an early age.

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Mark Walsh
Community Member
1 week ago

Snap. Was never used when I grew up. As soon as I was old enough I was gone. Now I tell my daughter I love her every minute of every day.

#45

Budget...Budget...Budget...

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#46

Utility bills are not a suggestion. You can't throw them in a drawer and pay them in a few months. They will shut your dumbass power off.

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#47

Own less stuff. You're likely to be moving a few times before you settle in to somewhere for a long time, and moving suuuuuucks. The less stuff you own the better. I'm talking everything. A mattress on the floor is just as good as a frame and a box spring if you're relocating ever semester. And as soon as you start paying for storage, you're losing money. The human animal is surprisingly self-sufficient. Don't believe the consumer culture hype that you need more "things." A pocket full of cash is easier to transport than all the worthless stuff it can buy.

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#48

The chores are never ending. Dishes always need to be done. Laundry piles up. Bills keep on coming. If you get yourself into a schedule or a rhythm, and do 2-3 chores a day, you'll be able to keep up.

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#49

However much you think it's going to cost to live on your own, it's going to be more. Budget accordingly.

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#50

**Thrifting:
Garage Sales, Yard Sales, Thrift Stores, Goodwill, Salvation Army,
Next Door App, FB Market Place (be safe and take someone with you when you go to these places-such as a persons home)

These places will save you so much money on appliances, clothing, shoes, art work, home decorations, etc etc etc

**PLEASE get RENTAL INSURANCE.

**Stock up on your cases of water, Toilet Paper, Paper Towels, Dishwashing Liquid, Detergent, sponges, body wash, soap, hand soap, cleaning supplies, toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash, lotion, paper plates etc on each pay day...NOT when you are low on these things or low on money...
--buy them at least 2 at a time until your stock pile is at your satisfaction.

***Have an EMERGENCY KIT in your place:
Candles/Flashlight
a lot of batteries (every size)
Battery operated Radio
Perishable Food
(emergency stash) Pet food

**Have a GOOD Relationship with your Leasing Office Agents/Landlords, Maintenance Crew/Grounds Keepers, Security Officers, and Neighbors

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#51

Ask for help. I had to leave an abusive home at seventeen. I worked and lived with a roommate but had no idea how to live on my own. I made so many mistakes that I could have prevented if I knew some basic rules.

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#52

First time moving out and moving into my own home I had no idea just how much work a house takes and how unskilled I was at even the most basic household 'fixes' like changing tap washers or dealing with a flood from a leaking radiator pipe. All that stuff you take for granted, so it's always worth getting your basic DIY skills sorted out before moving out

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#53

Triple tape the bottom of moving boxes. One down the middle and the other two in an X shape just to the outside edge of the first one. Then tape along the ends. I have moved many many times in my life and I have never had a single box give out on me.

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#54

There is a lot of things I wish I knew.
1) Take enough vacation. I took two weeks and it was just enough to set everything.
2) Before you move, check if you will have Internet. We were moving and it was supposed to be there, but you probably guessed it, no connection. It is hard to find contact for the Internet company without Internet.
3) Pack two suitcases (or easily recognizable boxes, something what will not blend with the rest), one with cloths, personal hygiene (toothbrushes), towels and so for a week (like you would pack for vacation), one with pre-cooked meals or easy to prepare things. This way you don't need to use kitchen the whole first week. (Learn from my fail, only after arriving we found out that the stove works only thanks to a piece of duct tape and we had to wait few days to get a replacement). And don't forget to pack salt!
4) Make sure that electricity, water, gas, Internet,... whatever bills are transferred to your name and there is no late payment. Or at least let the company know that they have to deal with previous owner/tenant.
5) If applicable, check who has residency at your address. You do NOT want to deal with debt collectors in three years.
6) When deciding between two temporary solutions, pick the less convenient. That will make you get permanent solution faster (example, shall I put mattress on floor or should I use some pallets as temp bed? Put it on floor, you will get proper bed sooner and you will be glad that you did that).
7) You will be surprised how many tools you do not have. That is fine, just keep some budget for it.
8) When talking about tools, higher quality is often less expansive options in long run, because if you buy the cheapest option, you will still have to buy the better in few months, so the first purchase will be pure lost. It doesn't apply to everything, but more often than you expect (again, learn from my fail). And sometimes the price difference between useless piece and quite good piece is only 15% to 20% of the price.
9) You will be surprised how many things you miss in your new kitchen. Before you move, I highly advise to get a good set of knifes, at least 5 cutting boards and set of pots and pans, some plates, bowls and silverware. For plates and bowls, if you do not know what style will be best, you have two options - the cheapest set you can get and replacing it in a year or two or some neutral white/cream/beige set that will go with pretty much anything. That will be enough for start, in some time you will see what else are you missing.
10) It is easier to paint the place before you move in. I know, it is not always possible, but think about it, you will live there for some time, maybe years. Same applies to putting in carpets.
11) First morning in the new place is something special. Take a cup of tea or coffee and think again about your plans. Did you pick the right place for table? And for bed? Do not rush that morning, most things are still in boxes, so you have great opportunity to think again before you unpack it. For example, moving bookcase later is hard, because books are damn heavy.

12) Treat yourself for achievements. All furniture is in place, cloths in wardrobe, books in bookcase and cups and plates are in place in kitchen? Sit down, look on what you achieved and have a cold beer. You deserved it.

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#55

Be careful who you give your address to and have the confidence to state your boundaries. Be prepared for some people to try and invite themselves over, aka the "friends" who want somewhere to crash after a night out or fight with their s/o. Don't let anyone treat your home like a hotel.

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#56

Yeah, you may be living out from under your parents, but most of the time you probably wont be able to afford the same fun things and times you had and did BEFORE moving out. Life can be REAL ecpensive when you are footing the bills for yourself.

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#57

That landlords can be *ssholes. I could write a book about this guy...But he got his payback in the end when he was caught doing something illegal.

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#58

If you need to get furniture wait till you can get exactly what you need. First purchase should be a bed with a good mattress and a sofa. The rest once you see how it looks and the e space you have for the rest of the things. Learned this the hard way and spending too much.

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#59

Budget for medical bills and medications (if you take them). I didn’t know my income would t cover the cost and I’d have to choose between rent with food or medical needs.

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#60

I wish someone taught me how to mop. I still feel I’m doing it wrong and I’m 39.

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KimB
Community Member
1 week ago

Start in one corner and work your way out to the doorway then wait for it to dry before walking on it.

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#61

Look at Google reviews of the apartment you are considering as well as the management company that owns it.

Hire movers. For long distance moves it can cost significantly less than moving yourself.

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#62

Fix it now. This is true for everything from home repair to mental health. If something is broken there is only an 1 person responsible for it - You.
The longer you put it off the less likely it is to get fixed, and problems build up fast. So fix it now.

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#63

Thieves. If you’re a college student, they are waiting for you like sharks in the water. Be suspicious and cautious of everyone in and around your place, hide your valuables and don’t tell anyone where you keep your money. Never allow anyone into your room that you don’t know and trust. Keep all valuables out of your car, even in the daytime. Never leave your moving truck unattended, never leave your doors unlocked. I learned all of this the hard way. If possible, always lock your door if sharing a space. I wish when I moved out, I was warned of the predators around me.

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#64

He’s going to hurt you, get out now. People only told me they could see it after we broke up

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#65

Room mates suck. If you have to have them make sure they're someone you know. Mine would steal my dishes, use them, and allow mold to gather. On top of that they were both pigs who's rooms I literally dreaded looking into. I'm talking trash and old food on the floor. Definitely would not do it again and would have stayed in the dorms if I had known how bad it would be.

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#66

Counterpoint to all the people saying “stock up on what you can from your folks, take everything”…Yes, it is hard being limited to the bare essentials (or less), but you also don’t need to start out with everything. Full kitchen set is just boxes of junk if you only have a kitchenette. Couch or bed is nice to have, obviously, but depends in space. The best thing your parents can give you when you move out is space at home to store what you DON’T need until you DO. That way you can be as mobile and your options as versatile as you need for a few years, and also always have an excuse to stop by and see the fam.

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#67

I thought dust was a myth, and that all those ads for swiffers and the like were being really dramatic.
When my room got dusty for the first time I just opened the windows and thought the wind would clear it up.

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#68

How chaotic my families house was two weeks after I left because nobody wanted to do the cleaning and cooking I used to do. If I had known I would have moved sooner

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#69

Stay home, enjoy ur family, life goes by too fast.

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#70

That there's truth in the saying, "you can't go back home." The saying is meant to infer how nostalgia causes us to view the past in an overly-positive light but the reality of going back is quite the contrary.

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#71

How awesome it is! Should have done it sooner.

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#72

Washing clothes. It takes time to wash, hang & fold/iron stuff. You might start buying a whole new wardrobe based on this information once you live by yourself...

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#73

That no matter how good that budget looks on paper, add a few hundred dollars to it because life will always cost more than you think.

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#74

Get home insurance even if you rent. Your landlord's insurance won't cover you in the event of a loss.

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#75

Don’t get a roommate.

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#76

It's normal to feel lonely at times. You've never lived alone before.

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#77

Keep track of your security deposit. I lived in an apartment for 30 years. It changed property managers five times. The money was supposed to be collected interest in an escrow account. They can't find any record of it, and I don't have a copy of the original lease. I will never know who stole it, or when.

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#78

DON'T!!-- lol-- moved out early and I regret the time to mature..living on ur own.. bills..stress .school...stress( did I mention stress!!).. I paid my own way my whole adult life..not easy..make sure it's what you really want and ur in a place inur life where you can handle it!!!-- good luck!!

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#79

How many things were magically taken care for you by your parents that you now have to do all by yourself.

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#80

Even if you don't really like the place you move into, even if you're there only for a short period of time, even if you want to move somewhere else as soon as you can... Try to make the place as nice as possible. Just little pieces of decoration and personalization can make the time you're there more bearable.

I had to live twice in places I didn't want to be at (some months each time for my studies in university). The first time I thought I wouldn't personalize anything, that I just had to do my time there and then leave. And it was even more depressing to come home, in a blank apartment that didn't feel "mine" at all !
The second time I had not much money to spend on decor, but every little things I could personalize I did : a rug that I liked, pictures of beloved ones on the wall, a nice tablecloth, etc... And it made so much difference for my moral !!

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#81

I learned the hard way that if one is going to live with roommates, one would be wise to invest in a lock for your bedroom, where you might just be hiding your expensive "oregano"

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#82

How lonely and expensive it is. I moved into a flat when my daughter was 3 days old. Was back home after 8 months due to loneliness and costs. I was working part time but it wasn’t enough. Moved out again when she was 7 and been in our lovely house since. The bills take 90% of what I earn but it’s our safe space

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#83

If you cant afford to include savings and personal spending in your budget, then you can't afford to move out...

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#84

That a job offer can be rescinded. I moved out of state to accept a position in a big insurance company. I get moved into my apartment, and call to verify start date is in a few weeks and where to go when arriving on site. HR tells me first that they rescinded the job offer, but 'forgot' to call me.

Was suck in the lease for a year, blew through my savings and had to cash out savings bonds to stay afloat while working a cruddy retail stock job 4-10 am. It took me 10 years to financially recover / pay off all the debt that racked up. I'm still not fully financially recovered.

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#85

Try to set aside savings, aka a rainy day fund.
Limit purchases, like trendy clothes, the latest *object*.
I had very little appreciation or respect for money.
It was simply always there.
Ten years down the road you won’t remember where all of your money went but you will have a much bigger nest egg if you plan wisely, ( hopefully you will have extra I mean).
Saving is good.
I wasted a lot on frivolous things and waste is never good.
My father gave me an allowance.
Did I want this? He would ask, did I want that?
If you have any disposable income establish a budget.
Credit cards are great for establishing credit, as well as for emergencies, always pay them off monthly, interest is brutal.
Try to delay moving out until you can save a good amount of money!
Secondhand at any stage in life is your friend, be a savvy shopper and budget purchases monthly.
You can literally save thousands per year!
Who cares where it came from, by being economical you will be just as happy.
I wish, wish someone would have told me that.
Instead, the bubble of this label, this brand is a waste of your hard earned resources because it’s fun to go shopping with friends, eat out, going out every night after work to see a movie, have drinks, do brunch on weekends, I spent hundreds of dollars per week when, if I had had a coffee and a pastry at brunch I would have been just as happy, or 1 drink at night.
Going out to keep ‘up’ with being active in a group of friends isn’t necessary if they are your real friends.
Go over to people’s places and hang out instead, go for walks, have a picnic, watch movies together, cook a meal and chat.
Learn frugality!
Money is an unfortunate necessity, a tool to be used wisely.
Have a ‘needs list,’ a ‘wants,’ list and think it through.
Chances are, you won’t want it the next day.
Ask yourself if it will be so important to you down the road.
Plan for the long term.
Safety: window bars, 2 carbon monoxide detectors, good quality fire alarms- ionization and photoelectric, a minimum of 3 in an apartment with one floor.
Make sure you install a new deadbolt when you move in to your new place or have management change the locks.
Learning self defence is a great idea.
Eat well, take care of your health while you are young, good nutrition within your means make a huge difference in how you feel.
Old age creeps up faster than you think.
Be your best friend, you are taking care of you now.
Get to know your neighbours- from a distance, this includes local shop owners, cashiers… the list goes on.
Learn to pay attention to what’s happening around you.
I literally went from suburbia to big city, never seeing a homeless person until I was 18.
My parents didn’t tell me so many things unfortunately.
My father, being ‘traditional,’ wanted me to find a ‘provider.’
I grew up in an era where this was fairly normal but times were changing quickly.
They still gave me money while I lived on my own and while later, I now understand how fortunate I was to have parents who helped me, it sheltered me from the real world.
I was very naive in so many regards.
Learn to rely on you sometimes instead of always turnings to others.
Practise appreciation!
You go into the world alone and go out of it alone.
Trust your instincts!
Life is beautiful in so many regards.
Take the time to watch the sunset, the birds.
Life comes in stages.
Cherish life, cherish your youth, love yourself and others.
Try to do good, donate things.
I like to put something out on the street instead of throwing it out, or fixing something up and THEN putting it out for someone to find.
Life is manifest destiny, some fate, some karma.
Practise gratitude, even for hardships, because they are teachers.
Most people will teach you something.
As Maya Angelou said, ‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them.’
My parents went to great lengths to shield me but it made me very gullible.
I have been grateful for all I have learned.

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#86

Buy a set of basic tools (hammer, screwdriver, pliers, etc.) You may be moving into a place where repairs are handled by a maintenance crew, but even then, you often have to wait. Many home repairs are simple, and you can do them yourself. Just read up and take necessary safety precautions. Some skills can save you serious cash once you become a homeowner (if that's something you aspire to.)

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#87

If your buying a house, the sticker shock is real! Need to hire movers? Be prepared to spend thousands. Need to have the home inspected? Another thousand at least. Homeowners insurance? How bout another thousand, easy. That's not including lending fees, mortgage insurance, taxes and every other closing cost.

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#88

What am I doing here? I'm too young to move out...

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#89

Never move in with your best friend, you will hate each other by the time you move out
I moved in with my best friend of 5 years about 12 years ago for a one year lease.
Once the lease was over we went our separate ways and never spoke again, we absolutely loathed each other by the end of it

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#90

You are NOT going to be able to afford it 🥺

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#91

Cooking can be really hard. Use online recipes or from family but don’t freak out if you mess up. My first dinner in our apartment I wanted to make a pot roast for my husband. It turned out horrible! I followed the recipe and still have no idea what I did wrong. I was crushed. Then he and I laughed over the absurdity of crying over pot roast and ended up making yummy bbq sandwiches instead! We still laugh about that 10 years later. It’s a good idea to keep about $40 aside for when meals aren’t fixable so you can treat yourself instead. Also, if you have a washer and dryer in your place, know how to shut off the water! Day 2 our new place the water line to the washer came unhooked and flooded half the apartment. I freaked and had no clue how to shut it off! Maintenance had to come out. So there were 2 valves with turn tops for turning the water off and on. Blue for cold. Red for hot. They were right above the washer and I had no clue what any of it was! So google how to shut off water, how to fix a leaky sink, stuff like that. There’s always a YouTube video that can help! Also, I always checked my mail early in the day because the mail boxes creeped me out at night and I was worried about strange men being around. Paranoid, but safe. When I was coming home late I’d also have my husband come outside where he could see my park and walk to the apartment.

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Šimon Špaček
Community Member
1 week ago

I would say learn to cook before you move out. And as I wrote in my answer, get some meals ready before you move and just reheat them.

#92

U coasted through high school & still got all A's; Try that in college & you'll fail out hard

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#93

You Do Not have enough money, period.

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