Can be cringe too!

#1

Growing up the rule for Saturday mornings was that the first kid up was able to choose what our father made for breakfast. My little brother E (3 or 4yrs old) got up at like 7AM and told my dad he wanted "treaded pancakes" or "shredded pancakes". My brother was still working on speaking clearly and was very upset that my father did not know what he meant. My father woke me up and asked me to translate. So I get up and ask my brother, who is almost in tears. "shtreaded pancakes!" he says. I look straight at my dad, "Waffles" I say "The boy wants waffles."

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KENOBI
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol this is golden

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#2

When I was little my dad made me believe I could use the bathroom for him. Before going on trips or something he would say hey I need to use the bathroom but I'm busy can you go for me, after I would use the bathroom he would then say thank you I'm feeling much better now.

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Liz Nellis
Community Member
1 month ago

Your dad was BRILLIANT!!!! Parents everywhere just to an AH HA moment

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#3

I was four or five years old, my grandpa took me to a zoo and I saw a peacock for the first time. My delighted exclamation: "Grandpa, look, a blooming rooster!"

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KENOBI
Community Member
1 month ago

Kids are so cute

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#4

Mom and I were re-painting a ceiling when the dogs went crazy barking. We rushed outside to do battle (this being a very rural area, you never knew if a bear would show up)... and scared the bejeezus outta the US Postal Service guy b/c we also happened to shout PAINT STICK WARRIOR WOMEN! as we ran out wielding our paint rollers.

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Liz Nellis
Community Member
1 month ago

OMG! That is too funny!

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#5

Not me but my uncle
When my uncle was very young he was getting dressed and he put his shoes on his opposite feet. My grandmother saw this and said "Owen you put your shoes on the wrong feet" . My uncle looked at my grandmother and then his feet "but mom these are the only feet I've got!"

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K80.127
Community Member
1 month ago

This has to be the sweetest! I LOVE that kids can be so literal. One of the best things about them!

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#6

My grandmother took me to the Jacksonville Zoo. I was 6. I was excited see all the animals IRL that I saw pictures of, or on TV. I knew all their names and wasn't shy demonstrating my knowledge. When we got to the Elephants, I caused a big stir. I noticed something odd and yelled out, "Hey Grandma! Look! Loook!! That elephant has FIVE legs! 1-2-3-4-5!" When she stopped laughing and got her breath, she explained that it was a male elephant.

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Lucy
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol my daughter saw a couple of chimps at the zoo when she was about 4 & screamed that the one behind the other was hurting it & of course that wasn't the case.

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#7

When I was 2, I touched a broken outlet, got electrocuted and pooped my pants :))

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Elsa Tischler
Community Member
1 month ago

I once was trying to plug something in an my finger slipped. I electrocuted myself

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#8

Well, when i was maybe 7 or 8 years old and was in " sunday school " the girl that seated Next to me had Down Syndrome ( still remember her name lol and i'm 44 now ) so One day we where in out " class Room " and One of the light switches was broken and didn't had its cover, só being the as....le i was as a kid i told the girl to shove her finger in the hole, which She told She wouldn't do, despiste me insisting, in sum lmao She never touched the open light switch, and i was só frikking curious that ended up shoving MY finger in the hole, and because Karma is a b..... I got an electrick shock and spent the rest of the class with my hand trembeling like crazy.....

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Liz Nellis
Community Member
1 month ago

Yup, ya got B**ch slap by karma straight away! 🤣

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#9

When I was 7 or so, I was singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (Bette Midler). But I was a little confused on the lyrics. "He's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of company b, said he couldn't blow a bugle so he blew me." I had no idea why my mom was laughing so hard.

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Country
Community Member
1 month ago

That'll do it.

#10

My mom came out of the bthroom after having done eyebrow pencil, and I said, without missing a beat. " OHH Maman you made man eyebrows" . She went back and changed them.

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Liz Nellis
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, your poor mom

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#11

When I was about 18 months old and not feeling well. Sore throat. So my parents took me to the doctor.

The doctor got out a tounge depresser. And I apparently was having none of it. I did a snapping turtle impression on the stick.

The doctor blinked. Then tried to wiggle the stick. The head bobbed but the jaw was locked.

My parents were no help. They were rolling laughing.

Doc, "I think I saw enough."

Yeah right. I didn't want to be poked.

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OneHappyPuppy
Community Member
1 month ago

My son ladies and gentlemen...

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#12

I touched my tongue on a hot toaster to see if it would make that "sizzle" sound. It did!

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Lucy
Community Member
1 month ago

OMG that had to have hurt

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#13

Ok long story incoming. I might have already said it here but nvm. Some background: When I was little we lived abroad, my dad got a job with my uncle and brought us over too. Uncle and aunt used to live in a compound - I believe the American version is a gated community. My mom used to take us there to aunt's house and my sister and I (f) would go alone to the nearby park to play with the other kids. One day we decided to take a walk through the compound and we went pretty far from aunt's house. A little elderly Indian guy (90% of workforce in that country is Asian) was driving a minivan through the streets and saw us all alone wandering so he offered to give us a ride back home. We jumped on board and he dropped us off at our aunt's. While retelling this story to our mom and aunt when asked how was our day, they went bats**t crazy on us (for to us then unknown reasons). To this day I shudder to think what could have happened to us if we weren't picked up, or even picked up by the wrong person. I salute you random elderly Indian fellow, may your offspring be protected in the same way you protected us that day

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

Glad the OP and sis are safe. There was and are good people in this ugly world.

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#14

When I was 5, we went to a wedding of a relative. My mom explained there would be a ring bearer and train bearers. I thought she said trained bears so as the bride passed I loudly said "Where are the trained bears?" Boy was mom embarrassed.

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

From the mouths of babes!!

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#15

When I was about 3-4 my mom told me I could have a cookie if I ate at least half of a plate of grapes. I took a bite out of every grape.

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hhh cubed
Community Member
1 month ago

I think that's actually pretty smart for a 3-4 year old.

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#16

So as a kid I thought I could parachute from the loft down to the first floor... with a blanket... And my parents would never know. My giant swollen foot and me withering around crying sure hid it all well!

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

My older siblings did the same to me but we had an old parachute, surprised I lived through it all.

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#17

I was my dad's princess. He indulged my every whim. Of course kids like me are stinkers. First time he took me on a plane to visit my grandma, I was about 5, I insisted he get up, go to the cockpit and tell the captain to "make this plane go faster. Right now." Boy oh boy, once I reached adulthood, he told that story to everyone. I never lived it down, but we would laugh about it. Lost my precious dad in 2012. I miss him ribbing me about it. I'm not quite as demanding now.

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Lynn
Community Member
1 month ago

Back before 9/11 and even further kids were invited to the cockpit a lot and given “wings”. Heck! Way back they used to smoke on planes!!

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#18

I was playing hide and seek with kids around the cul-de-sac.
Competitive as I was, I sat tucked in a hedgerow trying to decide what was more important - winning the game or answering the call of nature at the risk being found.
Suffice to say I stupidly chose the former and decided it was better to wet myself. Then walk all the way back home in p**s soaked jeans.
I totally got my priorities all wrong.
But for whatever it’s worth, I have bloody fantastic bladder control as an adult!

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KENOBI
Community Member
1 month ago

Fantastic can’t have it happening again right!😎👉👌

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#19

This isn't mine it's my brothers but when he was a toddler our mother left him alone in his room and then realized he was being too quiet she walked in and . . Baby powder everywhere he said it was "snowing". He manage to get it everywhere inside the room.

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Jane Doe
Community Member
1 month ago

My nieces did that with a canister of oatmeal. Mom got home from nursing shift to , “mommy. we skiing!” in the kitchen. in their underwear. Dad, “hey, they were quiet.”

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#20

Well one day I went to the store with my mom and her friend and keep in mind I was young at the time well we walk by the Ziploc bag box's and I looked at them and I go "Mom how come on the box it shows food in the bags but the bags don't come with food in them" :)

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Lucy
Community Member
1 month ago

My daughter when she was little asked the same thing

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#21

12 year old me (and several others) walked straight into a pit of cow dung, ran out crying, and washed our faces in a creek filled with snakes. This was a school trip.

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

Good preparation for life in the workforce.

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#22

I was 12 in the 6th grade. Went to a friend's birthday/slumber party. She lived in a small community. Her house was on the corner and her bedroom faced the street, and had giant picture windows that opened to the street. Her house was big and dark, spooky, and very old. Sometime in the early morning all 7 of us were watching some silly movie, we heard a scary noice and we all jumped up and ran to her room jumping on the king sized waterbed. I was second from last on the pile from the top to jump on the bed, well someone jumped right in the middle of me and it caused me to pee on everyone under me. I jumped up and ran to the restroom. I was MORTIFIED, TERRIBLY EMBARRASSED AND SCARED. My friend came to check on me and told me it was ok and no one was mad. So everyone promised to keep slumber party events secret and that was just one of the secrets. Or so I believed.
The next school day, all of my boy classmates knew and I had to relive that over for years. At our high school graduation, the valedictorian brought it up again in her speech. I'm 47 now and have yet to live it down

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

Kids, even teenagers can and are still hateful and think things like that are funny. Should not have been down voted. OP try to put it behind you and be the better person.

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#23

I was playing Atari missile command and the screen started shaking. Come to find out, it was Mount St Helens blowing up, just 60 miles away.

That was the first time I remember seeing a lot people wearing protective masks. Our town was completely covered in light gray, like a heavy snow. School was out for a week.

With the ash that choked our local river, an 18 hole golf course was built.

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

So they “paved paradise and put up a parking lot”? What happens to the eighteenth hole when Mother Earth decides to put the river back?

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#24

To improve memory power I would often take part in memorize and recite contests at school. My father encouraged me to do so and once while watching news in TV he said "Look at the news reporter. She is not stuttering while reading the news because she memorized the news so well . You should achieve that level of perfection!" . That motivated me like crazy. Years later I found out that news reporters read news by looking at teleprompters.

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

Boy...your dad sure sucked you in!!

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#25

Wouldn’t call it “funny” per say, but I had my first “kiss” at eight years old by randomly kissing boys and girls in my classroom. Fellow student found out and told the teacher. As for others, I made fart jokes a lot as a young grade schooler. Didn’t know that experience would lead to me being bisexual. I’m still in the closet to my family and I don’t plan on coming out to them at all. I could envision myself with a boyfriend or a girlfriend but when I’m around my friends I just say boyfriend as I don’t want them to think I’m weird.

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Liz Nellis
Community Member
1 month ago

You be YOU! 💖

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#26

It was Easter time at my dad and new stepmom's home... Early 70's. All of us kids were involved in an egg hunt. I saw my dad look under a bush and then walk away shaking his head. I went to the bush and looked and pulled out a yellow egg. Dad was not so pleased. He thought a 9 yr old gaslighted him... LOL!!!

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KENOBI
Community Member
1 month ago

Why did he think he was gaslighted? Did he just mess the egg?

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#27

When I was about 10 or 12 my mom, my best friend & me was coming back home from the store when the car died at the intersection in town.

My mom asked us to get out & push the car so we get out & go to the back of the car & push but the car didn't move so we try again still nothing so me & my friend take off our flip-flops for better grip ( despite the hot pavement ) still nothing but we continue to try & just as the guy in the 18 wheeler gets out to try & help us the car finally moves.
Me & my friend later found out that it wasn't moving because my mom had the parking brake on & when we asked we she had it on she said because it was a red light.

There was no other cars crossing the intersection because all the other cars was politely waiting for us to move our car out of the way.

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Lucy
Community Member
1 month ago

Why on earth didn't she tell you she had the brake on?

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#28

When I was 7 years old, the dentist hurt me with one of his little stools ( nothing serious, he didn't do it on purpose) then scold me because i moved a little , because it surprised me. I bit him.

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Jane Doe
Community Member
1 month ago

stools or tools?

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#29

My two younger sisters and I shared a room with bunk bed that had a full size at the bottom. Some nights during bedtime, I would close the door and fart bomb them and they would exclaim and yell and have to suffer there because that was way less scary than to face mom. Mom walked in once all yelling at us to be quiet, sniffed and ran back out. We all laugh about it 20 years later. I think they may have Fart-PTSD.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol that is so funny. Your mom ran back out lol

#30

Apparently when I was a toddler, I went from 2 or 3 word answers to sentences at once. I was with my parents and a neighbors house and he asked me if I wanted any 'cow juice'. I supposedly answered 'That is not cow Joyce? It is Milk, M I L K, milk!'

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

And I was thinking of cow Joyce so fondly. I wonder where she is now?

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#31

5 year old me tackled mom from behind, causing her to grab hold of china cabinet to keep from falling.
Many glass, ceramic pieces fell onto floor breaking.
I hid under a bed until pieces cleaned up. Cannot recall any type of punishment for this either.

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Darren Fusellier
Community Member
1 month ago

I blame your mum for not being prepared for the attack! Rookie mistake lol

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#32

My story is about my oldest brother and one of my uncles. My uncle (a teen at the time) had a habit of waylaying my brother (5 yr old) everytime we came home from town as he usually had candy that uncle could just grab and scarf down before anyone could catch him. That habit kinda backfired one day.

Anyone out there old enough to recall when Gravy Train dog food first came out? You guessed it, then. My brother gets out of the car with his hand close to his chest, acting as if he is REALLY enjoying his goodies. Uncle runs up, snatches a handful of kibbles from brother and crams them in his mouth!

No surprise that he never did that again, but I have a whole slew of stories like this. The 'Normal' gene not only doesn't run in our family, it runs from it!

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KamCy Ahaka
Community Member
1 month ago

The last sentence is gold😂

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#33

When I was about 12-14, my family and 2 other families we knew well went to a family camp in Upper Michigan. We had been warned of a family of bears in the area and to be careful to avoid them, as mama bears are protective.
One night, we are walking back to the cabins in 2 loose groups. One of the dads gets a bright idea and slinks off from the first group into the roadside bushes. I was in the first group and observed the chaos that followed.
This bearded man makes growling snarl noises as he rises up, arms akimbo, from the bushes. The second group of mostly moms and younger kids scream in terror, moving en masse to the furthest side of the road. And my mother grabs my little brother by the shoulders and shoves him in front of her as a meat shield. To this day, we tease her for her quokka-like reaction!

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

Meat-shield gives me a charge.

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#34

When I was maybe 6 (50yoM) my grandfather, knowing he wouldn't be around too long, would tell me inappropriate jokes, changing the punchline, and as I've aged, I've gotten so many jokes as gifts. Like this one
Him: "Do you know how Indians name their babys?"
Me: shakes my head no
Him: "well, they look around where they are, and if they see wolf running, the child is named wolf running, if they see eagle flying, they name the child eagle flying.
Do you know what your name would be?"
Me: "No Grandpa, what?"
Him " well, when you were born, I looked out back of the hospital, and in the alley, I saw something.
And you would be Two dogs fffffffuuuu"
At which point my grandmother hits him, and laughing hard he loudly says
"Fffuuuuu---ignting"
And he starts laughing hysterically and I join him, not understanding why...

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Jayne Brown
Community Member
1 month ago

The late, great Sir Terry Pratchett used this in one of his Discworld novels. Twins. The first son was called (as above) but we were never told that exactly. The second twin was called One Man Bucket.

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#35

When I was in middle school the neighborhood I lived in had this weird thing about it: about every 2 houses there would be one house with about 2 or 3 bichon frise dogs just living in the yard. They didn’t often walk them, the owners just let them loose around the yard and chasing birds and barking at the passers by. If you were unlucky enough to be around when they’re not taking their naps, then the whole street of fluffy white bichon dogs barking would create a tantrum and you just gotta run before they figure out the hinges on the yard doors aren’t really stable. Most of the pet dogs in the neighborhood were bichon frise. It was the most cutest but bizarre thing I ever saw.

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

Fluffer madness!!!🤣

#36

When I was about 5, I had bangs, which I absolutely hated. One time we were vacationing in a hotel in the mountains, and I told my mom I wanted a haircut without bangs, "like the gentleman over there", pointing at a random other guest. The gentleman was bald.

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Ramona Jackson
Community Member
1 month ago

He had no bangs, I get it. Makes perfect sense.

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#37

When my twin sister and I (male) were very young, maybe around 8-10, we had a brother/sister siblings living down the street from us we often played with. Sister was iirc a year or so older than the brother... One day we all went swimming in my family's pool, getting in our swimsuits and leaving our regular clothes on a bench in the back yard. The boy's underwear had a "mysterious" brown substance in it, when we teased/interrogated him about it, he said "Mom my puts play-doh in my underwear!" The older sister, of course, was having none of it, and called him out while chasing him around the yard with his "play-doh" undies on a stick, taunting him as to why he was so scared of it.

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Aisling Brew
Community Member
1 month ago

Sounds more mean than funny

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#38

My younger brother eating too many pot noodles when they came out, leading to amusing breaking wind noises later, whereupon aforementioned noodles made a surprise reappearance, apparently dangling from his balloon knot as he shuffled awkwardly to the bathroom.
To this day I haven't laughed as much!

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Zack Podany
Community Member
1 month ago

I thought "balloon knot" had to be an autocorrect at first...

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#39

Not mine but my niece has given me permission to share.
First day of kindergarten, she come home from school with a black eye, looking very proud of herself. When my sister, horrified, demanded to know what had happened, she gave a huge grin and happily replied
"I headbutt a little boy!"
"What? Why??”
"Because I like him!"
"That is NOT how we show people we like them!"
"Uh huh! He headbutt me back! Now we're best friends!!"
Sure enough, eleven years later and they are still best friends. I'm convinced they'll be more one day.

Side note: I learned a few months after the initial friendship headbutt, that they had been trying to switch bodies like the movie Freaky Friday... I have no words for that one. Lol

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#40

My “ ex girlfriend” forced me to the school attic saying a teacher wanted me there, and locked the door and and then her twin sister tried to kill me. We were 11.

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anarkzie
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm guessing that's one of those you had to be there funny moments.

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#41

Me and my sister are much better than our mother at English due to us moving to a different country at a young age and having to learn English to communicate.

My mom wanted to improve her English and so she asked us to speak it with her,I was seven in the backseat of the car,she said (with a broken accent) “So we speak English now?” and I rolled my eyes while saying “This is gonna take a loooooooooooooonnnggg time”
Still a family inside joke :')

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Lucy
Community Member
1 month ago

Huh? I don't get it 😕

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#42

During middle school I walked home with a friend from grade school most days, and he was a bit lighter than me and a bit less risk averse. On a trip to a mountain camp he walked out on some thin ice, and convinced my stupid self it was safe to walk on, after which I found out it was not, indeed, safe, but fortunately he quickly grabbed a branch and my parents were nearby so it ended well... so when we were walking home and he decided to swing from some ivy, and told me it would be fine, I of course had learned my lesson and refused. Only about 10 seconds later the ivy snapped and he crashed down into the small creek below. As soon as I was sure he was fairly unhurt, I enjoyed a nice revenge laugh.

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

I would've had the laugh even as I was checking on him.

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#43

When I was a kid I hated shoes and could be seen regularly not wearing shoes, even at time where shoes would be expected. One night when I was about 9 or 10 years old my parents decided to take us to the drive-in movies and then said we would just stay the night at a hotel since it would be so late to drive home. We used to go to the drive-in movies a lot as a kid, but never stayed in hotels after, we just came home. Despite the change, I didn't think much about the change. So I put on my very favorite fuzzy pajamas, a sundress for the morning, picked my favorite snacks, and piled into the car with my parents and little brother who is a year younger than me.

Movies were great and I never remember going to the hotel afterwards. In the morning, I get myself ready and pile into the car again. After a short drive, my parents pull around the corner and I see large signs pointing us in the direction of Cedar Point (a large amusement park about 2 hours from home). This is when I burst into hysterical tears.

My parents, totally confused at the situation turn to look at me. I catch my breathe and between tears finally get out "I'm not wearing any shoes!"

My parents are beside themselves and speechless. They are mad at themselves for not noticing that their child hasn't been wearing shoes for the last 12+ hours, that their 9 year old didn't even put shoes on but also because since are 2 hours from home. Since this was the 90s and before cell phones, it took them a minute but they did find a Payless Shoe Store. They made me sit in the car while my mom picked out new shoes. It took over an hour before we finally made it to the amusement park. In 37 now and my mom still makes sure I have shoes when we go anywhere

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TKA
Community Member
1 month ago

At least there are a ton of store close by, probably even more than I know about, it’s been awhile since I have been up there, 2 hr drive for us too. I once took our daughter to safety city (before kindergarten) without shoes, thankfully we only lived a few minutes from the school lol.

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#44

Son was 3 and asked for a cookie. Gave him 1, then 1 for the other hand. He asked for another. When I said his hands were full, he put 1 in his mouth and held out his hand. He got the cookie.

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Mere Cat
Community Member
1 month ago

My daughter at about 18 months was eating these crunchy lentil rings, really enjoying them. Points to the package to receive more, I say "but you still have your mouth full!" And she procedes to dig a whole ring out of her mouth. Not full anymore, I guess, room for more! :D

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#45

This was around my 7th birthday I think and we had a big party which was more like a family reunion. There are multiple things that happened that day. 1: some of my relatives roasted a whole pig and I was so shocked that I couldn’t go anywhere near it. When it was done my grandma tried to force me to eat the tail and I almost threw up. 2: I had an Elmo birthday cake and right when I was going to blow out the candles my uncle comes behind me and blows them out. I still hold a grudge against him 😂.

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Jennifer H
Community Member
1 month ago

I've always refused to let anyone blow on candles near me. They can have the candles on their OWN piece and blow them out. To this day I cringe when I see people doing this at parties.

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#46

When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I had this bully who was a 5th grader and one day I punched him in the gut because he was about to hit me. So then I go to the principals office and I get suspended for 4 or 5 school days while the boy was unpunished. When my mom got there she asked why the other boy wasn't getting punished and the secretary said "It's not always about your son" my mom got mad because I felt like I was in danger and acted in self defense but because he didn't actually hit me he wasn't getting in trouble. So my mom turned to me and said "Let's go get some ice cream" when the secretary questioned it my mom said "I am not going to punish my son for acting in self defense.

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

Happened to my son in first grade, he waited until the bully(also in first grade) hit him then my son proceeded to kick the bullies a$$. He was sent to the principal along with the bully, when the bully’s mother got there she scolded her son for picking on my son because she recognized me from my days in high school 😂😇

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#47

I am my brothers younger sister who always wanted to do everything he could do. I wanted to climb the trees and one day my mom caught him helping me up into the tree and she wanted me to keep my feet on the ground for a little while longer, so she made the rule that I could climb the tree once I could get into it by myself. Well, the next day I have my tricycle under the lowest branch with one foot on the seat and one on the handlebars and I jumped for that lowest branch and missed! I landed back in my original position and my mom came running out of the house, certain she was going to find me broken. Knowing she was defeated, she took my jump rope, tied it around the lowest branch, allowing me to step in the loop, reach the lowest branch and climb to my hearts delight. That story still gets told 45 years later.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I loved climbing trees when I was little. I was like an expert. The mailman would always freak out. Little did he know I had graduated to really big trees lol. I'll never forget how the mailman would react.

#48

When I was in kindergarten..I had much to learn yet in this life! I was proud that I sharpened a pencil to an honorable point:) then I proceeded to hold it point end up on the desk; laughed nodding my head foward; stabbing myself in the forehead. I looked up cross-eyed and confused as it stayed there in my head.! I had lead stuck there in my forehead for years. A lesson that we all must learn especially the ability to laugh at ourselves. Lol!!

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L Livingston
Community Member
1 month ago

When I was 12 I was stabbed in the palm of my hand by a really sharp pencil in the bottom of my school bookbag. I'm 55 now and I still have a grey dot where I got stabbed.

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#49

My grandmother lived on the water, a branch of the Elizabeth River (Virginia). There are birds, called loons, that have long necks and dive under the water and swim great distances before surfacing. My uncle told me that they were baby Chessie... Similar to the Lockness Monster (Nessie), but living near the Chesapeake Bay, we have Chessie. I believed him until I was about 10 or 11 years old. Like seriously,why would he ever lie??
Also, I thought that turtles were frogs that found a home... Like hermit crabs - they just came upon a shell and said, "Yep, this one will do." LOL 😆

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I think the frog thing is so cute and the story about the loons is funny lol

#50

Funny memory 1: When I was at primary school, we had an awards ceremony and it went for well over an hour. We were coming to the end of it when my name was called and they asked me to come up to the front--infront of the whole school.

So I got up, but my legs collapsed beneath me because we'd been sitting there for so long in such a cramped condition that my blood circulation in my legs had completely stopped. Unsure what to do, I crawled to the front to claim my award.

Funny memory 2: I went to the beach in my wetsuit and waterproof shoes and went for a swim in the sea. When I came out I felt this weird feeling in my shoe.

I thought I was imagining it at first, but it persisted, so I took off my shoe and a fish jumped out. Don't worry though, I got the fish back in the sea unharmed :)

But yeah I've never heard of fish swimming into people's shoes before. Very odd. If you're curious about the species it was a baby lemon sole fish (I think) either that or something similar.

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Ramona Jackson
Community Member
1 month ago

Once I found the cutest little baby octopus in my wetsuit. I tried to save it but it was small and not hardy. Out of the water too long, it had died. I still feel a bit sad over that.

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#51

When I was younger, (Elementary school age) I had a hard time pronouncing the double Rs in horror. One year at the county fair I wanted to go on the haunted house ride. Dad said we had to eat lunch first. As we finished eating my father announced we were gonna head home. I blurted out, "But Dad, you promised we could go to the Whore house"! To which everyone laughed while my mother hurriedly and loudly said "Horror, double R."

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah I did that too and my kids have done that.

#52

My father told me I was born with a tail like a Bassett Hound. We had 2 adult Bassetts and a litter of puppies, so I found this totally believable. I was 10 before I asked my mother if I had a scar from where my tail used to be. I thought she was gonna kill my dad!

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Chel Bolin
Community Member
1 month ago

Our mother used to tell us we had an invisible tail. We have tail bones, so when we are good it hangs down our leg and the end tucks under the big toe. But when we are misbehaving it wags behind our head to flag our parents.

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#53

When I was around 12-14 throughout my high school years, everytime my brother (4 years younger than me) and I would get McDonalds, we would order Happy Meals and then after dinner we would take my Dads hammer and blast them to smithereens. Sometimes, we would deface them with Sharpies beforehand. Whatever kept the kids away from hurting each other was my parents mindset I guess :)

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

Very strange indeed!!

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#54

I was on a punt with some friends. One was misbehaving so his mum told us tho push him in. He panicked and pushed me in instead. But I hung of and only had one foot in the water, with both arms and my other leg still in the boat. The only thing was it was a really awkward position. To get back in, I had to jump out the boat and then climb back in. As soon as I put my other leg in, I remembered my phone was in that pocket. I was the only one who found this funny. (BTW my phone was fine.)

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marge 4
Community Member
1 month ago

dang thank god u remembered it was there if u didn’t u would even notice if it left ur pocket

#55

I was about four y/o, and my mom had a cold. I have no idea what my thought process was, but I cut a big chunk of her hair off. I still feel really bad about it.

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marge 4
Community Member
1 month ago

I couldn’t figure out where that was going

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#56

When me and my brother were little he found some hair products and put them in his hair. My mom was busy on her online college so she said for him to go to bed. He then came back and said "I took care of it mommy." Later we learn he dunked his hair in the toilet.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Eweewe I hope he cleaned his hair lol

#57

9 year old me (F) approached my mom with my cat in my arms and declared, “this is my big pussy!”. She lost it!😂😂😂

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂😂 my kids where saying that in the van one day. I told them not to use that word.

#58

Once when my brother was three and I was two we were put down for naps. My brother ended up pooping in his diaper, but instead of telling my mom ( or whatever 3 year olds do when they poop) he pulled his pants of and painted the walls with his hands and feet and poo. We called him ' Poo- caso'

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah my kids have done this one once oh Lord what a mess they made and it was right when we woke up we found the poo painting in there room all over two walls.

#59

When I was a kid my mom told me I couldn't lay on the floor to watch TV because of the draft from the door. Only, I though she said giraffe and I spend many evenings trying to figure out how a giraffe flattened itself enough to get under the front door and what it would do to make me sick. I was terrified

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#60

My year three class was the battiest thing ever. You know those blue plastic chairs that all stack on top of each other? Well, we were having circle time, so all the chairs were stacked at the edge of the class room, and the boy next to the stack noticed that one of the chair legs was missing it's rubber plug. So, he stuck his finger up into the chair leg. And couldn't get it out again. Our teacher had to go and get the receptionist, and it literally got to the point that they were debating grease, cutting the leg off.... And he yanked really hard and got it out. Also, once another boy had been sent to reception for something, and the second he left the room, our teacher ( fun but batty) said, 'quick, let's all go outside and hide'. So the poor kid comes back.... And is faced with a totally empty classroom.
We thought it was funny.
And Oh yeah! I was the sixteen year old idiot, who thought ' oh no, I never burn, I don't need suncream on my legs'. Paid heavily for that one, and never did it again.

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#61

My mom used to mix 1 part sweet cereal with 2 parts no sugar cereal in a large Tupperware tub, and I'd always be the first kid awake of the 5 of us, so I would pick out all the sweet cereal and make myself a bowl of goodness before anyone knew about it.

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marge 4
Community Member
1 month ago

time consuming but worth it

#62

I was 9 and we were on a river trip. We had pulled off the water to have lunch on the beach and when we were finished one of the men announced that he had "to see a man about a horse" and wandered into the rushes. I immediately got up to follow - I wanted to see the horse! Needless to say, my parents were quick to hold me back, and we had a nice chat about some of the more colorful idioms and why I couldn't take them so seriously.

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
1 month ago

I've heard this as "see a man about a dog." Sometimes, when I have to answer the call of Nature, I say "I need to see a dog about a man."

#63

When I was 2 or 3 years old, I had a doll. I was very proud of the name I gave her and I cried and threw a tantrum when my parents forbid me to call her.... H*tler... I didn't understand why they were shocked. I didn't understand ANYTHING. 🤣

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#64

I don’t quite remember this, but my brother tells this story at least once every two months. When I was five, I have no idea why but I tried to get the flour down from the top shelf. Five year old me for some reason opened the flour before I tried to get it down. I tipped it over and the whole bag of flour got all over my face and the floor.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep I've had this experience but I had left the flour out from the night before so I guess it was fair game. Kids had it all over them and making art out of it on the floor with the fingers. I never did that again.

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#65

1st year in primary school. I was 5. At the end of the day everyone had to stand and say a prayer together before we left (Catholic school. Go figure). One day I realised that everyone, including the teacher prayed with their eyes closed so I just left when they started.

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#66

When I was in 2nd grade when I was playing on the school playground I fell and broke my arm and the nerve popped out of place and then I was yelled at by my teacher for crying and she told me it wasn't broken ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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Debra McGeorge
Community Member
1 month ago

I broke both my wrists in gym class and I had to open the heavy locker room door by myself to get my things.

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#67

When my sister was 2 and I was 7, we went to collect eggs from our hens. When I collected them, I put them in my shirt. (Yk, lift up the bottom of ur shirt for a pocket.) But my sister however put them in her shorts pocket. We come in to the house and my mom notices I have eggs, but my sister doesn't.
She asks, "J, where is your eggs?"
J (sister) *Points to left pocket.*," It's in dis pocket."
Mom ,"Is it in there now?"
J "No."
Mom ," Where is it then?"
J," I put it in da tee"
Mom ,"You put in the the tree?"
Me ,"Yea."

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#68

https://imgur.com/a/yonF3m4

One of my birthday cakes. It says "To My Not So Favorite Daughter".

I was 9.

I'm adopted.

My mom tried to tell me it was "just a joke", but it wasn't.

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

If this is true, I can only say " HOW SAD"

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#69

When I was barely talking, I was with my family and asked our church's bishop at the time for a fork. However, I couldn't say my R's, so it sounded like I said the f-word instead. Que my parents desperately apologizing and explaining my mistake.

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Barbara Shelton
Community Member
1 month ago

Once knew a child who cracked my mom up everytime he tried to say 'Hess Oil'. His parents just shrugged and rode it out.

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#70

One time when my mom, brother, and I were traveling with my Aunt and cousins, we had a 5 hour layover in Istanbul. We went to the food court and ate a bite before we had to catch our connecting red-eye flight. So while my Aunt and Mom are busy with something, like finding our gate or whatever, here are 5 kids sitting slightly unsupervised at a table. The janitor, an older man, walks over and starts PETTING my younger cousin, who was 8 at the time. Not in a creepy way, but like a man would do to his daughter or granddaughter. It felt really confusing in the moment, but looking back I always get a good laugh out of it.

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

Petting kids is dangerous. You could get bitten badly.

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#71

When I was about five we were on Fishers Island New York for the summer. Visiting a beach where seagulls had numerous nests I picked up an egg and my thumb went through it. The egg was rotten and I could not suck my thumb for a week!

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#72

Short but funny. When I was 3, my family went and saw the first Spider-Man movie. Apparently, on the car ride home, I was sitting next to my older brother (about 10 years old). I suddenly proclaimed that I was Spider-Man and that my brother was the Green Goblin. And then I punched him.

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#73

Growing up my family has been the weirdest
When i was at the 3rd grade or something
My elder brother had a bad habbit of ordering random online stuffs
One time he accidentally ordered 19 matress covers
Late when my mom found out about it she was spitting fire
Bonus: when we was kids we used to stick my mom's (not used) tampons up our nose cuz we thought that's how we should use it
Me and my brother~

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kcanded
Community Member
1 month ago

This isn't funny, it's gross. I'm sorry you thought it was funny!

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#74

I pooped in a sandbox and buried it like a cat when I was like 3 😆

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Ramona Jackson
Community Member
1 month ago

Potty training with a twist.

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#75

When my brother was about three, he wanted a monster truck. A toy one. So we went to The Dollar Store. He chose a smaller monster truck. We get back home and not five minutes had passed when he started crying. "But I want big monster fwuck" He sobbed.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah that word sounded the same with my little ones too

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#76

Not me but my brother. One day he was trying to sing along with a bts song, but he doesn't know Korean so it was all just gibberish. Well my dad (who speaks both Arabic, Spanish, and English) comes into the room and hears this and he starts to yell at my brother. Apparently my brother said like five super bad Spanish words in a row.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂😂 that is funny

#77

I was like 7 or 8, playing in the school play ground, when I trip over air, and walk into a pole

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom said I was the only kid she knew who could trip on linoleum wearing socks.

#78

At my elementary school there was a double door with a bar down the middle. I was walking towards it without paying attention because I was talking to a friend of mine, and (can you guess what's coming?) I walked right into the bar. Everyone laughed, including the teachers. Good times. -_-

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TKA
Community Member
1 month ago

I bet this happens all the time!

#79

I took a swallow of sour milk when I was about 9, my brother sat at the table watching me and knew it was bad but didn't say anything. Needless to say I quit drinking plain milk that day lol.

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#80

When I was younger my grandfather would take me and my two brothers fishing at the lake nearby and sometimes I would use corn which apparently turtles love because I kept catching the same turtle over and over again no matter how many times I would put it on the other side of the lake it would still come back for more

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Robert Trebor
Community Member
1 month ago

Hey, there's corn on the buffet over there.

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#81

It was in high school but a friend and I where painting these stage boxes bright blue for the musical we were apart in. We started accidentally getting paint on each other hands. Well the accidentally turned into "accidentally" very quickly and on each other's arms, legs, face. We were COVERED in blue paint! After we finished painting we walked out and the teachers ask "What the hell happened?!?!" I looked down and then straight in their face and said "It's the blood of our enemies" and my friend, not missing a beat, follows up with "We fought off an army of Smurfs". They burst out laughing and were told to go wash up

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I love this

#82

When I was about 3 I was at the movies with my parents. It was the early 70's so the movie was not age appropriate and it was one of those disaster movies of the era.

Anyway at some point I left my seat and was talking to the security guard in the lobby for I don't know how long. But I do still remember part of the conversation and I was telling him that parents should not be bringing kids to such adult movies. All of a sudden I hear my dad yelling for me from door that lead to the movie theater.

I turn to the nice security guard and say "Well thank you for speaking with me but I have to go as my dad is calling.me now".

I'm 50 now and I still remember that memory very clearly.

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Just a panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Thats probably the funniest

#83

When I was in 6th grade, I was over at a friend's house. We decided to go to the park after dinner. We were playing on the swings, and decided that I was small enough to fit in a baby swing. I did fit. Only problem was, I couldn't get out. The parents had to come and turn the swing upside down and shake it so I would fall out. It's a fun memory to hold on to!

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#84

My family went camping every summer and my brother and I could bring a friend. One year we went to Eadaville Railroad in Carver, MA. It's all about trains but they had (45 years ago) a petting zoo with goats. My brother's friend was wearing his grandfather's raincoat on the day we visited and the goats just LOVED his raincoat and chased him around the field eating the raincoat while me (aged 8), my mother and brother were defending him. My dad filmed it all on super8 film which has subsequently been turned into a DVD. Lol, ah, the good old days!

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Community Member
1 month ago

I'm so glad we turned my dad's super8 films into dvds. When the tech was available, my dad had the films made into VHS. When he died, my brother turned them into dvds, and we watched 40 years of our family through the eyes of my father at my father's funeral. We got to see and remember all of our family the way we were

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#85

Ok so this one day I was in the car with my grandfather and he said that his siblings ran off in an elevator when he was just 4 or 5 and he got caught by a security guard and his siblings were in MAJOR trouble 😆 🤣 😂

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Kitten Dog Mom
Community Member
1 month ago

Gotta love siblings

#86

In 9th grade I beat a boy in a race to climb the rock tower as proud as a rooster at daybreak. Then started sobbing (loudly) & shaking when they told me to "just let go". 👌

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#87

I don't remember it very well, but apparently 9yo me witnessed two girls kissing in the bathroom. I get reminded about this every now and then, but I highly doubt that it actually happened. I was probably looking for attention or something.

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#88

When I was like 3, I licked all the icing off of the Oreo cookies. I kept the cookie part for some reason, I don't know why. But I had them sitting on a desk in my room for like a week. My friends came over and I gave them the stale, licked cookies, and they ate them. They didn't question why there was no icing they just ate it. And they still don't know.

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#89

When I was about 6-7 I had just learned how to make toast and I absolutely loved making toast. So, one night I couldn't sleep and I really wanted toast, but my mom only would let me make toast for breakfast. So I waited until 1:30 AM and went up to her door to ask if I could make myself some toast. She woke up and told me that it was way to early for toast.

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Just a panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Hehehe

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#90

When I was like 4 my 6 year old brother got a Lego stuck up his nose. My parents where trying to take it out for 10 minutes straight. I was whaching Dora on the TV not even knowing what is happening lol

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Just a panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol

#91

So once upon a time, in our back yard cutting down these HUGE pine trees, and when I mean huge, I mean it. The logs that can down from the things were like 15 feet around. So naturally me and my dumb sister climbed up on them… they started rolling- my sister literally threw me off them and said her goodbyes cause she thought she was going to die… then, I decided “I’m going to get crushed by theses huge logs, so why not have my last drink of water from this dirty dirty inflatable pool with no chlorine in it?” I took the hugest gulp. I sat there waiting to get crush when my dad (props to you dad!) got my sister off and somehow manage to stop those logs… I kid you not he climbed up got my sister off and stopped those logs… welp props to you dad!

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

That a great dad. Your a hero dad

#92

When I was 12yo, I was offered a bar of chocolate from a friend who claimed it was her favourite snack. This mortified me as back then I did NOT like chocolate.

Turns out my parents raised me to believe that pig blood curd was “chocolate”.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

That so mean

#93

My little brother and I dug a hole in the backyard, trying to get to China. Someone told us we could, and we believed for some reason. We ended up hitting and breaking some sort of pipe and the hole filled with water. We didn't know what to do, so we covered the hole back in with dirt, and pretended it never happened. We had a swamp for a backyard for months. Our mother called the water company to complain about a large bill or two before the "burst pipe" was discovered. We never said a word. We were rotten kids. We laugh about it together from time to time. We both have kids that are mostly grown up. We tell each stories of what they think they have gotten away with.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

People use to say if you dig you will get to China. They use to say that all the time.

#94

Well it was summertime and I was watching tv... my youngest brother starts shouting at me telling me that there was something expired in our China cabinet. I'm like what and he just keeps going on about how the thing is fuzzy and bad just looks bad.

I stand up and walk ovr to him and open the cabinet, and he shows me what he's talking about. It was a shot glass, I pick it up, smell it, and put it up to my mouth and drink it.

Of course he gags, I burst out laughing and explain to him that it's a decoration.

Ok here's the deal, my parents collect shot glasses of the US states we've been too(which is alot) and the Tennessee one I think had a design that made it look like it was filled with beer and when u tilt it, it makes it look like your drinking it.

So ya hope ya liked it😁

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

It was funny

#95

When I was 4ish I woke up before the rest of my fam. I was hungry and opened the fridge. I saw, amongst plethora of other things, an open can of tomato paste with the lid not completely off. As I stuck my index finger in the can and scrapped up the paste I cut it on the sharp edges of the remaining ( not cut off part ) of the can.

This required my first stitches. The doctor had a tough time convincing me that a long needle ( to numb the area. I know this now ) was going to make it feel better. A team of nurses etc tried to hold me down. Yet it was not stable enough for the doc to do his work. So they strapped me to the bed with these cloth or foam segments that went across your arms, legs etc.

Yet there were gaps between the segments of about 6 inches or so. The doc injected the numbing directly into the wound. The pain was excruciating! I somehow managed to wiggle my healthy appendage free from the bind and punched the doc right in the face with all my 4 year old might.

I feel bad about it now but back then it seemed like a warranted response to me.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂 wow lol

#96

We discovered that green twigs glow when you light them on fire and blow on them. Went to show Dad, who was filming with his new shiny camcorder. "Look at this," blow, blow, ember goes flying into Dad's hair, look of panic for a split second before the camera goes everywhere as he tries to extinguish his hair XD. I think I still have that VHS somewhere.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can just see this and it so funny

#97

When I was in grade three, I read the book "Where The Red Fern Grows", an amazing book about a young boy hunting with his dogs. Now, being from Canada, I had no idea what a "c**n" was, but I knew that people hunted deer, so I pictured it as an animal similar to that. Then they began to describe how it would grab things with its hands and climb trees. So then I pictured a tree climbing deer with hands. It hurt my brain.
Didn't realize they were talking about RACOONS until years later.....

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Things like this are so strange to a child when told about it and your trying to figure out what it would look like......

#98

I once got out of the pool at my grandpa's house and he started mopping the patio.

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, I think they were saying grandpa was so obsessed with cleaning, he was mopping up the puddles???

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#99

Well, in elementary school, I was a REAL animal lover. And where I lived there was this pond behind our apartments I would cross sometimes to get to my bus stop quicker. There was always animals out, birds, rabbits, and ofc... ducks. I saw a baby duckling and well, I thought it'd be a great idea to bring it to school. Teacher freaked out, so did all my classmates. I didn't get in trouble for it they just called the animal services. I promised nothing like that would ever happen again... in 5th grade I did it again :p

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 month ago

By 5th grade you should have been old enough to know better to leave the baby animals with their mothers. :(

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#100

I ate a spoonful of wasabi thinking it was mint ice cream.

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Hydro Keychain
Community Member
1 month ago

Now I want Sushi.

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#101

TL;DR: ten year old boy makes unfortunate clothing choice on his first day of camp in the early 90s; is embarrassed in front of everyone

So, I was a bit of a late bloomer. I'm a high functioning autistic, but nobody knew that back then. I'm not sure what people thought of me back then, but I acted far younger than my age.

Simply put, I "grew up" later than my peers. So while my friends were turning into teenagers and shedding their childish ways, I was still playing with toys.

I loved pretending and playing dress-up. I learned how to sew at a young age, and frequently made my own costumes. I only bring this up for context, because this unfortunate story involves a costume. I did not make this costume myself, but I included that tidbit about me sewing just to illustrate how into pretend play I was. My friends were chasing girls, and I was sewing my own superman costume. Unfortunately, the costume was not superman. In fact, the "costume" featured in this story involved only one article of clothing: a hat. I don't remember what clothes I wore with it. They aren't important.

Only the hat is important in this tale.

So, here's the story: I think I was ten when I first went to summer camp, so that would make it 1992. It was my first time at a sleep-away camp, so I didn't know what to expect.

Naturally, my mom and dad had a ton of pamphlets they enthusiastically read to me, just trying their best to sell it to me. One of the big selling points was that the first day would have a costume party during dinner. I was pretty exited about this.

So when I was trying to choose what costume I'd wear, do you want to know what my stupid, stupid child-brain landed on?

A sombrero. That's right, friend. A giant freaking sombrero.

To clarify, I am SO white. This was the early 90s. So just imagine it: white kid with big teeth and big ears. He seems a little... off. He has a strange vocal tick, and talks slow. He's wearing the biggest sombrero you ever saw, and he is totally clueless about cultural appropriation. Unfortunately, he is also unaware, for the time leading up to his arrival, how ridiculous he will look in this thing either way.

I found the sombrero at the thrift store with my mom. I immediately fell in love. Among my growing collection of favorite movie genres, westerns were in the top ten. I cannot stress it enough: I LOVED THIS HAT.

So let's fast forward. I just arrived at camp in the afternoon after a long drive. After orientation and getting set up in my cabin, I got dressed for dinner.

I changed my clothes, and on popped my giant sombrero. I headed to the cafeteria, confident that my awesome hat will impress everyone. I'd make a cool entrance, and people would gasp in awe of the splendor of my enormous hat. It was only as I grew closer to the main hall that I began to take notice of the children around me, as small groups of twos and threes streamed into the hallway leading to the cafeteria. I didn't see any costumes.

I grew more and more anxious as got closer and closer to the door. My confidence in my rad headgear bled away. I walked through the doorway.

Imagine my horror, as I scanned the crowd and found that not a single kid there was wearing a costume of any kind!

In I walk, wearing the BIGGEST SOMBRERO YOU EVER SAW IN YOU LIFE.

The rest is a blur. I don't remember if I took it off and fled, or kept it on and stayed, or some combination of the two. I wish I could remember, but all I remember is that moment, walking in and reeling in horror.

This is just a small sample of my ridiculous childhood. This story is not unique for me. My entire childhood was a big cringe-fest.

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#102

When I was a kid my aunt and uncle had a tree that they decorated with old lighters. They had me convinced that lighters grew on trees.

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#103

My cousin and I were fighting like always, at my grandmother's house. My Grandmother turns and yells at my cousin. "If you can't be nice, don't be anything at all!" The look on my cousin's face was priceless. Unfortunately, I think he still thinks she meant that.

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#104

i used to be really tiny when I was young, and my parents would travel a lot with me.

i remember waking up in my mum's beach bag in the hotel lobby. i had a pillow, a blanket, my plush, and a zipper half closed over me.


it was the most comfortable bed i've ever slept in.

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#105

This will be worded as delicately as I can, so don't censor me BP!

When I was about 12 we had a family "reunion" picnic. A family friend who had gone to high school with my mom and others was coming with her 12 year old daughter who I was pen pals with. This "Aunt", Dorthy, had married into money and while they all kept in touch, Dorothy had turned into a snobby witch who the others were polite to but really didn't like much. It was always "I' have this and that and I can't believe you have a second hand car?" type of stuff. So we had the picnic. Being one of the few kids we had little to do so went off to the river to look for frogs or buried treasure. Dorothy turned up in a very nice outift, more to go watch a horse race at the Queen's Track instead of sitting on a bench eating hot dogs. Lot's of make up, hair styled, high heels. All she did was complain. She was very rude and would make sarcastic, hurtful remarks about things ("That's a nice necklace but you'd look nicer with silver. And that plastic is just going to yellow")
We were walking through the woods, bored out of our minds, and heard someone yelling. Very loudly. Swear words. I can't repeat, and I've rarely to this day heard someone weave such a tapestry of vile spew. We got scared something was happening to somone so crept closer to locate it. Finally we saw the very top of Doroty's head in the wild tangle of forest that was around. We first thought maybe she was um...having some "fun" but she started to get up and yelled a few more bad words at the top of her lungs and sat back down. She was drunk and saying something about Effing Toilet paper. It was then we realized she had been up against a tree, trying to ..relive herself. Only it was the "big potty" and she kept falling over because she had these ridiculous, skinny, tiny, slim pants on and her heels. She had leaves in her hair. She was trying to stand up to grab her purse which she had hung on the branch over her head. We heard, "Dammit now I have Sh*t all over me?!" It was a lot more graphic than this. My friend and I (this was her MOM!) went into such fits of hyterical laugher we couldn't even walk. We were hanging on each other, crying and hold our guts, trying to figure out how to get back to the picnic. We finally made it and it took a bit to explain the story because the adults thought we'd lost it or something. After getting the details out several women ran to help Dorothy, napkins and water in hand, like the calvary. When they came back no one said anything, trying to be polite, but Dorothy looked like she'd been pushed out of a moving car in the rain. That's all anyone brought up from then on when Dorothy was discussed, not how nasty or arrogant or rude she was. It was that vision of her with her pants down around her ankles, stuck in a bush not even having the snese us commoners have to know how to "go" in the woods.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is so funny

#106

The time where I pretty much scared the living nightlights out of my 3 longtime bros.

Not long after meeting and getting to know them at the start of high school, we decided to have a sleepover at one of our houses. By some dumb luck, I had a major headache and decided to turn in early (8pm-ish) when it started to pour big time.

When I partially woke up at about 2am, it was still pouring and my bros were somewhat scaring themselves silly with a horror movie, a horror video game and ghost stories. I was half-awake but decided to stay lying where I was because I was still partially groggy.

Now, host bro's house has a big window in his bedroom and by now, outside street lamp is shining on some minor movement in the corner of the room. Bros are beginning to freak out but after some (scared) investigating, found that it was the shadow of a blazer hung on the closet door which was flapping because of the wind.

Just when they thought that was it, lightning and thunder struck outside the bedroom window where I was lying under and at that point, I just sat up straight, WWE Undertaker-style, in front of said window without a sound.

Needless to say, seeing someone or something suddenly sit up straight amid a backdrop of lightning and thunder will likely scare the living day or nightlights out of you and almost immediately, I heard a chorus of synchronized screaming in the background.

Almost immediately I snapped up of my groggy state and asked them what was going on. When they finally realized it was me who they had left dozing in the background while they scared themselves silly, they pretty much launched a pillow attack on me there and then lol.

Good times. We have grown a bit apart recently but still gather annually for Christmas and sometimes, I visit host bro's family and am pretty much the weekend guardian for his two sons.

Good and funny times indeed lol XP

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Do-nut touch da donut
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol

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#107

I was twelve and had recently moved into secondary school. I learned some swear words at school one day and me and my friend were sitting in my room talking wondering what the could mean. we probably used them more than we should have but hey we were twelve and it was naughty words. What we didn't know was my toddler sister was playing in my room too. how we didn't see her i dont know but we took her down to my parents when my friend left. My friend went in the sitting room to say goodbye to my folks and thats when it happened. That is the story of how my sisters first full sentance she spoke clearly was "f**k off clive" as clear as your reading it, and no way it could have been anything else. my friend stood there in a stuttering panic terrified he was going to get in trouble, my dad fell on his knees laughing, my mum just sorta froze for a second and i wanted the ground to open up. My sister seeing dad laughing so hard knew it was a fun game so she then kept shouting f**k off clive which set my mum off laughing, then she laughed even harder at my friend still stood there stammering.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I would been laughing too I wouldn't be able to help it

#108

Growing up in the 70s I was a real tomboy and loved, among other things, a good old cowboys & indians western. I also had a younger sister who was about 4yo at the time.

One day I was outside with our big, bad tempered male goat. I wondered if he would take off, like a horse from a western movie, if I were to slap him on his rear end. I had no sooner thought that when my younger sister appeared. She was a skinny, trusting, wee thing so I put her on top of the goat. That was no problem so I suggested she lean forward and hold the goats horns. She did. Then I give the goat a big slap on it's rear end. The goat took off just like a horse from the movies. Mission accomplished! Of course five minutes later, after the goat charged through my mums washing on the clothes line did she end up chasing and eventually catching it.

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

Omg 😂😂😂😂😂😂 that poor child. 😂😂😂

#109

When I was a kid, my dad would thump my belly like a watermellon to tell me when I was "full" during/after a meal. He would start at my belly button and thump his way up to about mid-chest. If there were still any veggies on my plate I didn't want, he would randomly stop somewhere in the middle and say, "Oh! Nope, not full yet. Keep on eating!". So I would go back and finish them, and proudly present my belly for another thump test. It took me until my early teens to realize that I was only ever full after all the healthy foods were gone.

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#110

I grew up in the 80s and I was about 6 when I heard about people starving in Ethiopia. I took my plate of food and put it in a big envelope added some stamps and asked my Mum to take me to the Post Office so I could send it to Ethiopia.

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Elisabeth Breckenridge
Community Member
1 month ago

Whenever I didn't want to finish my food, my mom would try to encourage me by saying there were "starving kids in China". Now, I had seen the child sponsorship commercials where poor kids were picking through the trash - so I thought my mom's comments were utterly ridiculous since my eating my food would actually leave LESS food in the garbage for those kids to find. I always tried to throw out good things so the poor kids would have something nice to eat.

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#111

I was arguing with my mom in the kitchen. I was probably 4 or 5. If I recall correctly, I had no logical grounds to be arguing with my mother. There was a leak in the kitchen roof at the time, and there was a 5 gallon bucket behind me, half full of rainwater. As I walked backwards, keen on expressing my displeasure at something incredibly petty, I landed butt first in the bucket, folded up like a pocket knife, nothing but scrunched up indignant face and little angry wiggling feet sticking out. My punishment was being stuck in said bucket until my mother’s laughter subsided long enough for her to regain the physical ability to extract my now cold, wet *** from said bucket. Okay, mom, anytime, now, mom…seriously…really, mom?

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
1 month ago

😂😂😂😂😂

#112

Not really my childhood but almost 30 years ago for me. I was in Vegas at a casino during the mid-90’s or thereabouts. I was in a short line to use one of the hand washing sinks. There was an elderly gentleman in front of me. When it was his turn he approached the sink and began to c**k his head at various angles. He had a puzzled look on his face ( I could see the front of him in the mirror ).

He continued to scrutinize the sink area and actually lowered his head as if he was going to drink from the spout. It was at this point I realized the poor man had never encountered a hands free water faucet. Holding back laughter, I gently pointed out where to place his hands while explaining to him that it was a hands free design.

But the look on his face when he was searching for a lever or what have you was priceless! He looked so confused I would call it borderline astonished albeit sad. I am laughing hard now at revisiting this memory ( I did not laugh at all except “Inside me laughter” when behind the elderly man ).

Now I am approaching the age of being the elderly man. And my daughters often have to point out how the latest tech works to me. Cycle of life. ; )

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#113

When I was around 12-14 throughout my high school years, everytime my brother (4 years younger than me) and I would get McDonalds, we would order Happy Meals and then after dinner we would take my Dads hammer and blast them to smithereens. Sometimes, we would deface them with Sharpies beforehand. Whatever kept the kids away from hurting each other was my parents mindset I guess :)

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Barbara Spencer
Community Member
1 month ago

Still very strange!! LOL

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#114

It seems nothing funny happened in my childhood or my memories are so blurred, but I just remembered one with our son,when he was around five years old.
There was some old water pool and some comunity action of painting the walls around,many young people and nice atmosphere, my husband took our son to see how walls are painted, and after some time our son, who was just in swimming suit,comes back to me to show me proudly how nicely he painted with some white oil wood paint not only the walls but himself too!!!!!He was thick white all over, shorts, legs, boddy, face , hair!!!
And so proud!!!!!
It turned that my husband,who would be able to speak even with a tree about photosintezys, started endless chatting with people ,while totally forgetting our son ,who,free as bird,started painting a wall and himself.
We needed to quickely buy turpentine or any other oil paint disolver in order to clean a paint before it dries.I was in such a hurry and my husband killed me, he said, let us stay for some more, its really nice atmosphere here...
(Will not bother you with words that crossed my mind at that moment ...)
Anyhow,end of weekend and no shops opened, we finaly found a shop and got a turpentine disolver, I took our son in bath tube and literally washed him with turpentine, scrubbing paint that started to dry, my poor little artistic son was screemeng " you are bad parents" even though I explained him the situation and that it will be unpleasant process , sharp smell of turpentine all over .....

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#115

When I was about 9 or 10, I went to an amusement park with my dad. So there was this bumping ride which i wanted to go to so we stood in line. When the people were getting off and it was our turn, I ran to find a car to myself when suddenly a kid, maybe 7 year old grabbed both my hands with his one hand and slapped me *hard* right on my face. I didn't know what I did but boy, was he mad

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#116

When I was about 13 my little sister who was 3 was in the kitchen on her own when I heard a big crash and glass breaking, so I run in there. She had climbed onto the worktop and was raiding cupboards - she had knocked some glass pots down. She looks at me and shout at the top of her voice “NOT MY FAULT”

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#117

We were on a family vacation in Puerto Rico. Mom is from there and speaks Spanish. Dad is a gringo and does not speak Spanish except when ordering food.
So we’re at Pizza Hut with some cousins and dad proceeds to order.
Instead of ordering garlic bread (pan con ajo)
dad orders damn bread! (pan carajo)
Thirty years later and it’s still our favorite story.

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#118

When we were kids in the 80's every Sunday was house cleaning day. We either had pancakes or sometimes dad would get us donuts. This particular Sunday was a pancake day. I was slower coming down stairs than usual, so missed out on the first run of pancakes. I walked into the kitchen and look at my sisters plate and got a little excited because mom was making chocolate chip pancakes! Yum! She finished mine up and I looked at their golden brown skin and was disappointed to not see any chocolate chips on mine! I asked mom about it as I began to slather peanut butter on them. She absent mindedly said she hadn't made any chocolate chip pancakes for anyone? About that moment, I got the syrup and was about to anoint my short stack with the sticky goodness, when I noticed something weird. There were little black flecks in the syrup. my mind made the connection and I started laughing. My sister has just finished eating a short stack of pancakes with sugar ant infused syrup! I told mom what I was seeing and she snatched the bottle from me no doubt thinking I was messing around, but nope. Meanwhile my sister was dumbstruck. Once she recovered her wits, she gagged, tried to make herself throw up in the sink then brushed her teeth for a solid 30 minutes. We still laugh about it decades later!

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#119

I had a doppelganger in Primary School. The girl looked just like me (Neither of us could see it, but EVERYONE confused us). We transferred to that school on the same day in the middle of the year so we naturally became friends. Teachers, parents and other kids would often call us by each other's names or tell us things meant for the other. Some were thought we were twins despite not being related at all.
On multiple occasions she would get into my mom's car and mom (obviously not looking her right in the face) would drive off only to realise it's not me halfway to the school gate.
As adults, we look even less alike and I can still not see the resemblance in old pictures. We looked NOTHING like each other.

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#120

I was walking along with my family, looking down and playing with the dangling togs on my coat. I walked straight into a lamppost. There was a resounding 'bonk' and a bump on my head but I laughed it off. The thing is that I hadn't realised and never noticed the lamppost was already leaning slightly. The following day it was pointed out to me by my parents and for years I believed them that I'd hit it so hard I made it wonky. 🤣 I'm 40 now and it still gets brought up!

I also once asked "If that's the first aid box, where's the second aid box?"

One year when I was very young, on 1st April my parents announced that it was now midday therefore no more pranks. I apparently started to cry and when asked why I was so upset, I said that I hadn't had my sweets yet. Confused my parents asked what I meant and I replied "you said it's Opal Fruits Day?!" *now known as Starburst

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#121

7 year old autistic me was weird to say the least. Was out on the playground one day when a whole group of kids started yelling and chasing me. Starting running around then, decided to be a horse. Galloping, tossing my head back, whinnying. I was having a great time! The rest of them just stopped. Wasn't quite getting the response they expected. Left me alone after that. Who knew that being utterly incapable of reading social clues could be such a superpower?

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#122

I called Parmisian cheese shaky cheese. And my sister once ran away out of the backyard to the sound of the Ice cream truck. I chased her down half the block until she gave up.

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Buck Up
Community Member
1 month ago

My wife called it Farmer John cheese, as a little girl.

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#123

My younger brother eating too many pot noodles when they came out, leading to amusing breaking wind noises later, whereupon aforementioned noodles made a surprise reappearance, apparently dangling from his balloon knot as he shuffled awkwardly to the bathroom.
To this day I haven't laughed as much!

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#124

When I was younger my grandfather would take me and my two brothers fishing at the lake nearby and sometimes I would use corn which apparently turtles love because I kept catching the same turtle over and over again no matter how many times I would put it on the other side of the lake it would still come back for more

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#125

I recall that time when me and my two cousins heard about a commit. We didn't know exactly how it's be like, but someone was joking and told us it's gonna hit the earth and we're all gonna die in 2 days.
Sadly he didn't note that we were 7,6, and 5 so... We took that very seriously and for the next couple of days we tried to do everything our little hearts desired before the end. And on the day of the commit we saw an extra bright star that we were sure was the commit and were also sure it's gonna land directly on US. We braced each other, shaking and told a secret each then bade each other farewell... For 5 minutes nothing happened so we went to watch TV 😂

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Janet Miller
Community Member
1 month ago

Comet

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#126

Hi,I'm a child still,so can I post this recent on,like 5 mins ago lol,ik it 1:30 an rn for me but yea,basicly ,childhood trauma,bad s**t blah blah,but my dream was to be top set pe,and my classes just got announced online for my year 8,and I'm crying rn bc my dream came trueand the funny part is,I HATE SPORTS SO MUTCH ,but I'm still happy bc my dad may be proud of me for once :),I can now finnaly say its the first time with happy tears in a long time

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Just a panda
Community Member
1 month ago

C:

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#127

Our dad figured out to make us met Ingar Nielson (Pippi Longstocking) on our holidays in Sweden

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Community Member
1 month ago

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#128

I wanted to melt my coconut oil so it would be easier to spread, so I put the closed plastic container in the microwave and saw lighting. I didn't touch the tub for 5 minutes before opening it and luckily only the lid was a tad singed :)

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#129

My little brother got sent back home from Sunday school. He was being told the Genesis story and he yelled at the top of his lungs that the teacher was a liar and that the story was not true.
His reasoning was that the Serpent could not have told Eve to eat the apple, as snakes can't talk...

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Siriusly Sirius
Community Member
1 month ago

Unless you're Harry Potter... hyuck hyuck

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#130

I was three when my mother left me to fend for myself. It was only for five minutes, but the damage I caused in that seemingly short period of time was cataclysmic. Crippling. Absolutely ruinous. Some might even say... Very very bad. Lets review. I was a good toddler. So good that my mother felt comfortable leaving me alone for five minutes, while she went to get something. That was her first mistake. See, a few days prior, little me was introduced to the chickens. We shared a chicken wire fence with our neighbors, which they had built their pen onto. Anyway, i figured they must be awfully bored in that little cage, so I wanted to get them something interesting. And thus, the chaos begins. Where do you find interesting things? Moms bathroom drawers, of course. First, her jewlery box was snatched, and brought outside. I searched inside it, pulling out a handful of necklaces. I strung these on the chicken wire, and went back inside to find more. Moms favourite lipstick was next. Onto the wall it went. I used it to draw a rather unflattering portrait of my father, before returning to the drawer. Then came the bottle of moisturizer. Big bottle too, about two liters. Straight on the dog. Entire thing. Whole bottle. Smeared all over the dog. And the floor. But luckily, i cleaned up what was on the floor. By going to the plastic bad drawer and laying them all down in a thick layer of grey plastic. Then Mother came home. The walls were smeared with lipstick, the dog had tracked moisturizer all over the house, and her jewelry box was laying upturned on the floor, the contents spilling out. And there, in the center of it all, sitting on a throne of plastic... Was me. From what i hear, Mother wasn't too pleased with me. But the dog was amazingly soft afterwards.

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Community Member
1 month ago

This is really long sorry. I was just feeling poetic today

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#131

This probably says more about my (slightly dark) sense of humour but the funniest thing that happened at school was when a dog invaded our school playground. It was a big playful labrador, and seemed to ignore all our attempts to pet it or engage with it, like it was looking for someone.

It seemed to single out one kid and make a beeline for him, jumping up at him and...er...attempting to make sweet doggy love to him. As much as the kid tried to get away from it, the dog persisted (we couldn't shoo it away or stop it, it had no collar or lead to grab onto and would snarl at anyone who tried to grab a leg or its fur) but it chased that kid all around the school playground, and then eventually with no other choice, right out of school. The last we saw of it was it chasing that poor kid down the road and off into the distance (the rest of us that had been chasing it up till that point wouldn't dare leave the school grounds because we'd get in serious trouble).

Next day the kid showed up at school and wouldn't talk about what happened. But I reckon it probably changed his view of dogs for life (the dog definitely wasn't his, but definitely wanted to make that poor kid its 'wife' for sure).

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#132

I remember as a kid in Jr. High School (in the mid-80's when all the computers where Apples) the schools computer teacher had a sign on his desk that read 'Warning - I/O error - Idiot Operator'

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#133

When I was a young kid (in the 80s) I was big on watching tv. Wasn't into sports, though, and didn't know anything about them.

My mom watched those evening dramas/soaps (Dynasty, St. Elsewhere, Falcon's Crest, etc) which I didn't care for but I did sit through a few episodes.

In school one day I walk by the older "cool" kids during lunch and I hear one say "I don't like Dallas". Thinking I could impress the older kids and get some "cred", I jump in and say "I don't like that show either, but I did like the episode where JR got shot". To which the kid replied "I'm talking about the football team" and they all laughed.

Yeah, I got super embarrassed and kept on walking.

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#134

I was 7-8 years old and with my 2 older sisters and brother. They're all at least 10 older than me. Anyway, we were just goofing around and my one of my sister's said to me 'You're a fruitcake!' so I completely naive told her 'if I'm a fruitcake why don't you just eat me!? And they all just bust out hysterically laughing and I'm smiling because I made my cool older sisters and brothers laugh COMPLETELY unaware of the true nature of what I said. I didn't figure out until a few years later I thought back and I understood why they were truly laughing.

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#135

there are so many stories about my mom but here is one of my favorites: mom had a best friend named thelma but we used to refer to mom and her as lucy and ethel because sometimes they would do some crazy things. one very very early morning, i got up because i heard mom and thelma in the kitchen giggling. there they were, having coffee which is not very odd (with the exception of it being so early that the sun was just starting lighten the skies) but the fact that they were both wearing jeans, shirt, tennis shoes and were covered with dried mud, dirt as well as a few scratches is what surprised me. i was pretty young at the time so when i asked why they looked like that they just told me that they were doing some night fishing on the river and then started to giggle again. i knew that this didn't sound right because although mom was an avid fisherwoman she had repeatedly told us kids never to fish the river when it was starting to get dark because it wasn't safe. but, at the time, i let it go.

a few years pass and one day i remembered this incident so i asked her what happened to have them look like that. well, mom and thelma were fans of paul newman - and who wouldn't me with those beautiful blue peepers! it seems that they found out that the film, cool hand luke, was being shot nearby and they had the idea of sneaking in from the back roads to see them filming and to try to get a glimpse of paul and, maybe...just maybe....an autograph and picture with him. they had parked the car away from the place they were filming because the main roads to the area had been blocked off. then, they basically ninja-ed their way through the fields to the set. she said that they got pretty close and when thelma saw paul she gave a little squeal of excitement and this alerted some of the crew. the crew called out to them aggressively so they got scared and started running with them following. apparently one of the crew noticed that they had a camera and was yelling that they wanted the film (they didn't even get a chance to take a pic). but, they got separated in the dark and because neither one of them wanted to leave without the other they hunkered down in the bushes for a while and then started a kind of marco polo activity to try to locate each other. one of the crew heard them and joined in and when they found each other the crew member also found them. so, off they ran, together this time, to the car and then home.

with the exception of thelma, mom's persona to the world was a very conservative housewife, devout catholic, and devoted mom who not only would never wear jeans but would also never be expected to do something like this.

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#136

So I don’t completely remember this particular series of memories, but I’ve been informed of them. When I was a kid, I used to severely sleepwalk to the point I’d end up outside. Well, I also used to stand in random places while asleep, and whisper and mumble. Now. According to my mom, I wasn’t not talking in English, but rather in tongues and unintelligible sounds. She used to joke I was summing demons in my sleep, lol.

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Do-nut touch da donut
Community Member
1 month ago

The ghost whisperer!!!

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#137

My sister and I once went zip lining with our cousins and his parents. We were all around 9-10 at the time (is kids)

The first time i went down a zip line I wiped out, skidded on my rear ended and ended up looking like i had pooped my pants for the rest of the day and that was after standing at the top for ten minutes crying because i was to scared to go down.

Later that same day, my sister went down a long zip line that stretched over a small lake. The line was loose and she got stuck in the middle. My aunt and uncle were laughing so hard they almost fell out of the tree. My sister just sat there and watched a turtle below her. The same thing almost happened to me but my aunt saved me by a strap coming off my butt. (An employee climbed out and pulled my sister back to safety)

All and all it was a fun day but some lessons were learned.
1. Don’t wear your new shorts zip lining
2. Don’t tuck in your lose straps
3. If you get stuck on a zip line, watch the turtles instead of the people laughing at you.

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#138

My sister and I once went zip lining with our cousins and his parents. We were all around 9-10 at the time (is kids)

The first time i went down a zip line I wiped out, skidded on my rear ended and ended up looking like i had pooped my pants for the rest of the day and that was after standing at the top for ten minutes crying because i was to scared to go down.

Later that same day, my sister went down a long zip line that stretched over a small lake. The line was loose and she got stuck in the middle. My aunt and uncle were laughing so hard they almost fell out of the tree. My sister just sat there and watched a turtle below her. The same thing almost happened to me but my aunt saved me by a strap coming off my butt. (An employee climbed out and pulled my sister back to safety)

All and all it was a fun day but some lessons were learned.
1. Don’t wear your new shorts zip lining
2. Don’t tuck in your lose straps
3. If you get stuck on a zip line, watch the turtles instead of the people laughing at you.

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#139

My sister and I once went zip lining with our cousins and his parents.

The first time i went down a zip line I wiped out, skidded on my rear ended and ended up looking like i had pooped my pants for the rest of the day and that was after standing at the top for ten minutes crying because i was to scared to go down.

Later that same day, my sister went down a long zip line that stretched over a small lake. The line was loose and she got stuck in the middle. We were laughing so hard we almost fell out of the tree. My sister just sat there and watched a turtle below her. The same thing almost happened to me but my aunt saved me by a strap coming off my butt. (An employee climbed out and pulled my sister back to safety)

All and all it was a fun day but some lessons were learned.
1. Don’t wear your new shorts zip lining
2. Don’t tuck in your lose straps
3. If you get stuck on a zip line, watch the turtles instead of the people laughing at you.

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Community Member
1 month ago

Sorry I don’t know why it posted three times 🫢

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#140

When I was around 9 I saw pretty frost on the iron railing outside our apartment. Got an urge to lick it. My tongue stuck and there was no one around. After trying to yell I finally just ripped my tongue off the railing, along with a top layer of taste buds it felt like. Never did that again!

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#141

Put a pot on my head and yelled "I'm a pot head" not knowing anything as I was a child.

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#142

I have several.. but my favorite was when I was about 5 I told my grandma “I’m going to take my teeth out just like you when I get older!” As she was taking out her dentures..

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#143

This shouldn't have been funny because I realize she could have gotten hurt, but my little sister falling down the stairs. She found it hilarious too. It was more about how she made as much noise as humanly possible falling down all 7 steps. My mom commented that it sounded like a rhinoceros had been in the house and there's my sister at the landing after crashing through a stand with a potted plant on it (now all over the floor), laughing her a*s off because of how much racket she made. I had only heard the noise because I was in the basement but I laughed hysterically too.

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#144

when i was like one my mom caught me squatting on the floor and asked me i was doing i said 'i poop on floor.' (don't worry i was wearing a diaper)

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#145

We all know the "I walked to school..." stories from our parents. Well, I was 16 by the time I realized that my dad walking to school, "in the snow, both ways" was BS. haha! Not sure why it took so long. Still remember the day of my epiphany too...he grew up in San Diego - which I knew well before my teenage years.

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#146

Six year old me clogged a toilet that flooded the in ground basement we were having a sleep over in.
Had to wake up ‘Dave’ to shut off the toilet. After I ruined the entire basement.

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#147

In the 70s, big bro was 11, me (f)9 and lil bro 4. Parents left us in the car eating dairy queen ice cream cones (summer) while they went into a store. Lil bro had ice cream all over his is hands. Big bro says do this, and make a motion like wiping his hands on his shirt. So lil bro leaned over and wiped is hands on big bro's shirt. It was awesome. Cracks me up just writing this.

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#148

I used to wake up early on Christmas morning at like 3am and go downstairs and shake the presents and try to guess what everything is. I hated surprises.

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#149

My 2 older sisters and I went for a walk. I was about 6.
We were told not to be gone long, but being kids, we had no concept of time.
My dad came to find us and we cried all the way home because we knew we were going to be spanked.
When I got home I put on every pair of panties that I owned.
When we were in our 30's, we were at our parents house talking about things we did as kids. I told that story and my dad laughed so hard. He said he was going to spank us until I did that and it made him laugh.
I had a perfect childhood.

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#150

When I was in kindergarten a parent would walk me 3 blocks to school. There was a bar along the way. One sunny day a shiney motorcycle was parked at the curb and oil had spilled on the chrome exhast pipes. It glistened like a glorious psychedelic rainbow. Quick as a wink I put my hand on it - and burned myself very nicely.

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#151

When I was in kindergarten a parent would walk me 3 blocks to school. There was a bar along the way. One sunny day a shiney motorcycle was parked at the curb and oil had spilled on the chrome exhast pipes. It glistened like a glorious psychedelic rainbow. Quick as a wink I put my hand on it - and burned myself very nicely.

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#152

My brother and I forcing our mom to get on a toboggan and then pushing her down the hill. And listening to her laugh so hard all the way down. We just had this great day playing together. My brother killed himself a few years ago and she's been very depressed lately because her and my dad are fighting a lot and they're trying to take care of his mother. It's been a lot. I just haven't seen her smile or heard her laugh like that in so long.

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#153

Once i was bringing my younger brother to soccer practice (he was five i think so he couldn’t go alone) and i had to fart.. so i did. When i was back at home i went straight to the bathroom only to find out that it wasn’t a fart- but a number two…

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#154

At the park near my grandparents house there was one of those rocket slides, you know the ones where the slide wraps around the rocket. I was about 7 and I was really unsure about going down it. My was mom was like "Ok, I'm going to show you how easy this is". That's where she went wrong, right there. This was the 70's, and she was wearing jeans and big clunky 70's wooden clogs. Also want to mention she was 5'2" and about 100 pounds, so practically kid sized herself. So she climbs up and starts down. When she appears at the top, she looks alarmed. I guess her size and those jeans sent her shooting down reallllllly fast. The look on her face was priceless. She hit bottom and skied across the fake grass on those clogs, then stopped dead and hit the dirt at the end. First thing she says is "DO NOT tell your father". She was laughing so hard and so was I. Yeah, no way was I getting on that slide.

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#155

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