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#1

I'd really like to try flirting.
But I'm ugly so I don't.
The few times I tried men seemed to feel insulted since I don't meet the standards.
Some called me disgusting.

For the same reason I try never to be too visible or too loud in public.
I would love to just laugh about a joke, talk to a friend in public or ever show an emotional reaction.

Instead I live alone and try not to take up to much space wherever I am.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

I'm thinking of women who were not considered good-looking, but have had partners: Lena Dunham, Eleanor Roosevelt, Lillian Hellman, Ayn Rand, Rhea Perlman, Betty Friedan, George Eliot. Their intelligence, talent and personalities seems to have helped. I think you deserve better than to have to be invisible. I don't know where you live, but the people around you sound very shallow.

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#2

Performing my own music on stage. I don't have stage fright I can perform other music just fine, it's only my own songs.

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

I see, so you’re scared of how people will judge your music

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#3

Divorcing my abusive wife

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

Assess the risks, then see how you can mitigate those risks. That includes the following: document the abuse (including pictures of bruises, any witnesses, have you told anyone about the abuse, have neighbours overheard the abuse, etc.), protect your assets (finances, etc.), find a safe place to go (you might lose the house, but it may be a worthwhile price to pay), do research about laws (what happens if you leave, what rights do you have, etc.). If you have children, does your wife mistreat them? You might want to get custody (if it's shared, can you apply for full custody later on?). If your wife is physically abusive, can you call the police?

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#4

I’ve always wanted to write a novel. I have the time and even the idea but something always holds me back from actually starting to write it……

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Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
1 week ago

Right, I can help you with this! I wanted to write a novel, but couldn't imagine writing a whole book. I watched a video - https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days about a guy who said to try something different for a month and he also wrote a book. I had no story idea (!) but just came up with an opening scene (and this is the key - just think of where it will start, who's there, what's going on, etc.) and just write it. It may only be 1 or 2 pages long, but you will then have the start. I wrote a 200 page novel in 28 days because the ideas just started flowing once I'd started and was thinking about the characters and so on. I was really happy with it, so as you already have an idea, just do that then set yourself a target of writing say 3000 words a day. Honestly, I've never looked back and have written more books.

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#5

Singing in front of people... stage fright gets in the way of that, but hey

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

Well, everyone has or had some form of stage fright. I know I do, but I usually just try to ignore it

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#6

Live! Feel like I'm only existing lately, thanks covid

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
1 week ago

I think a lot of people that way. One of my favourite lines from any movie is from Wall-E: "I don't want to survive, I want to live" Find something to bring a smile to your face each day, it'll give you something to look forward to when you wake up in the morning. Try a new hobby. Learn a new skill.

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#7

1) Starting a YouTube channel for my hatchery. I know my birds are well cared for and kept safe, but their pens look thrown together and aren't pretty and pricey like most YouTube breeders have. I'm just worried that people would hate on me in the comments because of that.

2) finishing my books and sending them to an editor/publisher. I write books that only specific readers would like and I'm just not sure they would sell well if they even got through the editing and all that.

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Susie Elle
Community Member
1 week ago

I wanna see your birds!

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#8

I would like to stop worrying about everything but I'm too worried to. Don't want to tempt fate.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

It sounds as if you have anxiety. It can be managed. I've learned to handle mine better. This link has a lot of suggestions: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-cope-with-anxiety#long-term-strategies

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#9

Standing up to my best friend’s bullies. They’ve been bullied ever since they came out as non binary. I help them out as much as possible but all I want to do is punch the bullies in the face. I’m too much of a coward to do so though.

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janke Leroij
Community Member
1 week ago

You are not a coward. Bullies are cowards. Punching them in the face is not the solution. Find a grown up to talk to.

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#10

For me it’s skydiving, like what if the parachute doesn’t work and you just plummeted to the ground?

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Don't Look
Community Member
1 week ago

The fears that you have about skydiving have likely all been answered. Also, your first jump will be tandem. Seriously, go try it.

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#11

Skydiving, I'm not afraid of heights but I'm more afraid of the actual parachute not working during your fall.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

Check into paragliding. The parachute is opened BEFORE jumping.

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#12

I wanted to be an Egyptologist and go on digs for artifacts. But many of the tombs are underground and I have a fear of being under ground in a place that has only one entrance/exit. If it's a tunnel or a large structure with two ways in and out, I'm ok. But I've never been brave enough to try.

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

Hmm.. well you should start out at a cave with one entrance and explore, then work your way into smaller areas. But don’t go into a place where you know it’s extremely dangerous. Although, you should believe in yourself and try becoming one. I hope this advice helped you, friend

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#13

Honestly? Be myself around my parents. Get more piercings, get a tattoo. Live independently. Join a gym. Tell my parents just how damaged they are, and how much of that damage they transferred to me. Stop counting calories and steps. Go on a date. Fall in love. So many more things....

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JLH
Community Member
1 week ago

Wow, I feel like I could have written this 20 years ago. Hang in there, have patience and take baby steps towards finding self love each day. It WILL get better.

#14

Starting a new life somewhere else.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

That can be scary. I don't know how old you are but why not be an au-pair for a year.

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#15

Id love to go diving to see all the amazing sea creatures, i love sea creatures but i hate getting wet and cant swim 😢

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

Watch videos or visit aquariums. If you still want to try diving, take it in steps: take baths; take baths that aren't very hot; wade in a fountain or pond up to your knees or thighs; put on a bathing suit and go deeper into the pond. Then find a pool where the water isn't too cold. Learn to swim. If you find you never get there, no worries, you've tried. Learning to swim is a very useful skill, but if you learn to just float or do the dog paddle, that's a life saver right there.

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#16

A couple days ago i gave up romantic and sexual labels. Nothings fits who I am. I’m extremely scared to come out because I don’t have a label. Labels seem to be so important when coming out, not having one just seems scary. However, I don’t wanna ditch who I truly am just to come out.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

Why do you need a label?. You are you, Happi doggi. And, if someone asks just tell them you don't know or just don't want to be a label. You're too lovely to be a label.

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#17

Talking honestly to my mom and friends

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

Ooof yeah, I still have difficulties doing that. It’s just hard for me to come out to people even if I’ve known them for years, I’m just afraid to lose them. But you should start talking honestly with them, it will turn out good for everyone

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#18

Start my dream business.

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

And what is your dream business?

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#19

I want to try out MMA, but I'm afraid I'll get my head smashed in.

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

I'm currently a black belt in taekwondo, I don't know much about MMA but the sparring in my martial art has padding on and it's a great way to start getting used to the force of a kick

#20

It's a stretch, and I think this will be the first time of me admitting this, but...
becoming the first woman president of the USA and trying to make this country a fighting chance again instead of it being mainly known for it's screw-ups.
(I know nothing about politics and all that stuff, so...my chances are VERY low at the moment lol😅)

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

Hmm.. well first off, you're gonna want some experience in politics, start by picking your ideals and try running for mayor and work your way up

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#21

Coming out to my family.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

My question: what are the risks of coming out? If they're throw you out of the house, don't do it until you can live on your own or live with someone else. If they get get angry and impose rules on you, you're not in danger, but it could make your life hard. If they get upset, but don't try to make your life difficult, you just might need to wait a bit and talk things over some more. Sometimes parents react badly because they think they did something wrong or they think your life will be hard - that comes from a place of love and they will change.

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#22

Just packing it all up and travel for a year or so.
Maybe even just store my stuff and sell my house.
But there are always people depending on me for support, even if I feel I have nothing left to give.

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Jake
Community Member
1 week ago

Maybe one or more of the people depending upon you can go travelling with you!

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#23

Get back in the sadle again. I haven't been on a horse for 30 years.

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Jacin Larkwell
Community Member
1 week ago

I can get that. My horse accidentally knocked me off the saddle last year (I was fine besides some painful bruising, thank goodness) and I can't bring myself to ride again without starting to panic

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#24

Asking her out...

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Joanne Hudson
Community Member
1 week ago

Start small; coffee date.

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#25

Asking my crush out.

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Ruby ahhhhh
Community Member
1 week ago

Same I really want to ask your crush out

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#26

Getting my mother in a position where she has to listen to me and I tell her all about herself. IDK, like a locked conference room or something.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

Why doesn't she listen? Age, dementia or just plain denial?

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#27

Telling my parents I'm bi and asking out my crush :/

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Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
1 week ago

Yeah! BICYCLES UNITE!!!

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#28

I wanted to make my own video game but I’m severely lacking the skills because I failed a certain class that also broke my self esteem. The teacher was even awful toward me due to coming in class a week late. He simply tossed the book to read through and said to do tests on each chapters. I panicked so hard during that stupid class, there was no one to turn to ask for help. The teacher bluntly told me, “that’s your fault for choosing this class”

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

There are lots of online classes. You local library might have a link to classes. Mine does, and I can take classes just by typing in my library card number and a password of my choosing. If learning online, start with something easy and then make a simple game for practice. You can also take a similar class to get a more rounded understanding of each topic. I knew a beginner who would ask different people for help because each person would give a slightly different answer or show her something a little different. So she learned something new from each one.

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#29

Sing in front of anyone

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

Maaaaan the first time with the band, my leg started wobbling. After the first minute it was fine, so was my voice. It was fun.

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#30

Skydiving it’s a lot of money and scary

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Don't Look
Community Member
1 week ago

Third time. Okay - step one. Actually go and try it. And I mean talk to the skydivers and the pilot.

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#31

Lose weight and focus on my looks. I'd like to be healthy and look nice, but when I was younger, thinner and better looking, I got a lot of harmful attention--not just harassment and assaults from men, but abuse from women. (Why do women do this to each other? I don't understand.)

I don't like being unattractive, but it's "safer." Women still treat me like garbage, which I've just written off as their nature, but at least I'm not being stalked or assaulted by men to the point where I'm fearful for my safety.

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Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
1 week ago

F**k them, do what you want! (But if you're concerned, take self-defence classes.)

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#32

I really want to go back to school, but I'm disabled. I would lose my Medicare health insurance

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Jake
Community Member
1 week ago

Can you do non-credit video auditing of courses? Can you save up, then go to school and live off your savings? Can you read about your interest? So many great achievers are self-taught, you know.

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#33

Telling my crush I like them. I’m scared of rejection.

But I will never know if I don’t try but that doesn’t help my fear.

And also maybe thinking I could like 2 different people and if they said they liked me I would feel the need to say I don’t like you.

I don’t even know anymore thanks for listening to my rant.

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JLH
Community Member
1 week ago

Seems like this topic comes up a lot. At least you know you're not alone! But it's not true that you'll never know if you don't try. I wussed out on asking out a high school crush of mine. Many years later I ran into her and we got to talking. Apparently she felt the same way and wondered why I never asked. So I did find out, but far too late. Carpe Diem!

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#34

I want to skydive, but since I have osteoporosis, am very concerned about sustaining a fracture or two upon landing. I turn 70 in March so I just might do it anyway..(after my present wrist fracture heals)

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Tami
Community Member
1 week ago

Gosh, maybe you should try one of those indoor wind tunnel skydiving places instead.

#35

Quitting my job. It’s become agonizing, taking me to the brink. But too many people rely on me and my income.

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Tami
Community Member
1 week ago

Hope the people who rely on you appreciate your efforts.

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#36

Going living in Vietnam...... it's kinda always been a dream of mine to retire there, and even at just 28 when I got my first pension paying out and then shortly after a war pension too..... so basically enough money to have a middle class lifestyle there with no other work I had a child, so just couldn't take off and do it. I used to say to my little girl, 'when you're past 18 and are secure and capable..... then if you still say it's ok for me to go and do it..... but only if you say i can'....... well......... long story short, my little girl passed away 3 years ago at 18...... and I don't know why or how cause i've never really been a fearful person..... and my fiance (who I didn't know at the time) would gladly go with me...... but for once in my life i'm finding myself a little scared at the thought of going on an adventure like that.

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Community Member
1 week ago

should make clear, it's not just about not wanting to move abroad because i've done it several times..... I've lived in the UK.. italy... france..... the US...... and a couple of other countries...... but that move to vietnam like i've always wanted now seems ...... i dunno.... maybe too daunting to take someone else with me along the way whist i have my last hurrah.

#37

I’d like to tell my mum how much she hurts me with her words and attitudes but I won’t because she refuses to acknowledge she is ever in the wrong and makes out that it’s all my fault and of my own making. I’ve spent my life trying to keep her happy and whoever I’ve put myself first she makes life really difficult for me. I’m a grown woman so shouldn’t feel as if I have to put up with it but I do.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

Here is what I'm seeing in your statement: "I’ve spent my life trying to keep her happy": your mother is unable to be happy about anything and takes it out on you because you're an easy and available target; you think that it is your job to make her feel happy; you try, but you fail, because your mother will never be happy.

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#38

Being able to tell my story in front of tons of people. The only thing is, 1. I have speech problems 2. I sometimes get panic attacks, my trigger is noise. People talking at once, large crowds, loud noises, yelling.

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Joanne Hudson
Community Member
1 week ago

There is an international group called Toastmasters with chapters in everyone's town. Small groups of like minded people meet once a month and critique each other and give advice. Its more comfortable in a small group and everyone has the same goal; public speaking.

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#39

Talking in class

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janke Leroij
Community Member
1 week ago

just know most people are afraid.

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#40

i want to be on broadway but im way too scared to sing on stage
I don't have stage fright, if i have a speaking/dancing/ensemble role im absolutely fine but i want to have a singing role, im just way too self conscious of my singing voice
and i want to take voice lessons to improve it but im even too self conscious to sing in front of ONE person lol

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

I see, well.. what’d I’d do is record myself singing and post it on a account on YouTube and ask what they think of it, and then work my way up from there

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#41

its already been said a lot, but preform on stage. i want to do music related stuff in the future, but have severe stage fright

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Tami
Community Member
1 week ago

Some professional musicians take medication, beta blockers, for stage fright.

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#42

Start my own t-shirt business... i have a lot of cool ideas (at least on my mind), but when i draw 'em they don't look that cool... so if i print them and try to sell them i'm afraid that nobody likes them.

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Skara Brae
Community Member
1 week ago

A relatively low-cost way to give this a try is to rent a booth at a street fair. Obviously, you'll need to bring T-shirts to sell, and price them about the same as other booths. If you pick a fair that draws people who wear T-shirts, you'll know pretty quickly if people like them.

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#43

Go back to school.

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Macaw
Community Member
1 week ago

My mom went back to school at 63 and is getting her Masters at age 67. She wants to be a counselor. It's never too late.

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#44

Telling my mom that I don't enjoy being around her.

In her mind, nothing anyone else does could possibly be interesting or worth doing, and she's always been this way. It's nearly impossible to share anything about my life with her, including memories we share, such as things that happened while I was growing up. She typically just stares at me like I'm from outer space or starts talking about something else. But then she expects me to listen to her talk about her life, the same stories over and over and over.

Reason I'm afraid to tell her is that she's now 92 and I can see she's unhappy enough with that. She gets over-emotional about things sometimes, and I don't want to make her cry. I'm the only relative that watches out for her, so I guess I just need to put up with it.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

Thats hard to deal with. Maybe talk to a close relative about the issues you have.

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#45

Telling my crush I like him

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

I know it's difficult, but it's probably best if you tell him straight forward, there's a good chance he likes you back

#46

talk to my crush..🥲

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Ruby ahhhhh
Community Member
1 week ago

Honestly sammme

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#47

Hike the Appalachian Trail. But the idea of leaving a job I love, and having no income or health insurance for 5-6 months seems insane. Especially for someone in their 40's.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 week ago

Bill Bryson has a book about hiking the Appalachian Trail that I remember being amusing and inspiring...maybe something like that would inspire you enough to do it.

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#48

Id like to talk in public without freaking out and overthinking, or even in front of a few people

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GenericPanda09
Community Member
1 week ago

My finance suffers from this too.... and a few years ago my advice would have been to 'just f****n get on with it'...... and it's only through her experiences that I realise that means jack s**t to someone who just doesn't feel like they can do it. Even know she'll say something to me and recall like a really trivial interaction she's had with like a supermarket guy/woman at the checkout and berate herself for not instantly coming across as like wit of the decade cause she'd just thought of a joke she maybe coulda said at the time but didn't...... she feels people remember that kinda s**t when in reality they don't.... they're not going home laughing about the person that pressed the wrong button on the self-checkout that one time..... they're just getting on with their own lives.

#49

I have a dream to Drive a car ! I have been on my learner licence, for the 4th time now. This card expires in the year 2025. Hopefully I will be on my Red P's by then.

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#50

Shout at my parents. Sometimes they really deserve it, but I'm too scared that they'll take away my phone and all my other privileges. They've conditioned me from a young age to never question them, and I've always been severely punished for anything I do wrong.

I also want to find a way to tell them they actually don't understand me without them brushing me off. Because they tell themselves and me that "You think we don't understand you but we do." If you ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD ME I would be in therapy and they would let me have mental health days off school when I need them. Because I do. And they refuse to believe anything's wrong.

Also how do I get them to believe that my nausea isn't just 'all in my head'? They can't feel my pain, so what can I do to prove it to them?

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

It's almost as if you'd have to throw up in front of them - it's possible they think your nausea is a way to get out of school or chores. If someone was constantly nauseous, I'd be concerned about their health. Here is one idea for getting the conversation going (no guarantees, but may be less risky than shouting at them): "You seem to understand a good amount about me. I want to add a few more things to your knowledge". Was there ever a time in your life when you told them about a problem and they helped you? If yes, try: "I remember when I told about [problem] and you helped me? I really appreciate what you did. I have a problem I'd like to talk about, maybe you can help me with it." This might get them to be less defensive.

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#51

I'm one mental breakdown away from selling all my stuff, quitting my job and moving to london. But leaving the country is really difficult :( so I'll stay in germany for as long as I have to

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#52

Coming out to my parents :')

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

If it's risky, don't do it. Save up your money and make plans to leave their home when you can. That can be one of the following: going to school far away (you can pick and choose accepting people at college or university); moving out and sharing a place; getting a job far away where you can get a room or a dorm (such as resorts - if you can take courses in tourism, that can help you get a job in one). Be on good terms with open-minded adults around you (teachers, relatives, etc.) - you might need their help some day.

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#53

To travel by myself. I have taken local trips by myself and I have been to Europe with my husband but I am afraid of doing it by myself.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 week ago

I love, love, love traveling by myself...no conferring over every single decision; if you decided you don’t like a place you can just leave, or if you really like it, you can stay for as long as you want (circumstances allowing). I went to Europe (England, France, Italy) in my 20s, Africa in my 40s (Morocco, Senegal), Southeast Asia also in my 40s (all of it), and I moved to Bangkok when I turned 50–ostensibly forever, but in actuality it was only a year. Since then I’ve traveled some around the U.S., but my financial situation will no longer allow me to range very far. It was mostly a blast, and when it wasn’t (homesickness, a bad reaction to my anti-malarial, and one theft), I recovered and have lots and lots of great memories.

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#54

Post my fitness and diet progress at social media. Many already told me to do so, so it might inspired peoples. But I'm just too shy...

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 week ago

Post it here!

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#55

Hike the Appalachian Trail. But the idea of leaving a job I love, and having no income or health insurance for 5-6 months seems insane. Especially for someone in their 40's.

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#56

Hike the Appalachian Trail. But the idea of leaving a job I love, and having no income or health insurance for 5-6 months seems insane. Especially for someone in their 40's.

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#57

Since I was a child I have dreamed of working in the the west end. Unfortunately I have crippling social anxiety so it’s never going to happen. I always feel a mixture of sadness and excitement whenever I’m at the theatre. I love a musical ( I can’t sing either lol)

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

Are there jobs in the theatre than you can do without much social contact? I'm thinking of work such as: scenery design and production, publicity design (posters, web pages, etc.), ticket sales, etc. I found this list and it's pretty long! https://getintotheatre.org/blog/complete-list-of-jobs-in-theatre-industry

#58

so when i draw something i get scared of if someone does not like it

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

Go ahead and draw if you enjoy it. Try not worry about someone not liking it. People have different tastes in art, and artists have different styles. For example, I can enjoy abstract art, but a lot of people don't. I won't stop liking some abstract art just because others don't.

#59

i wish to be a fashion designer for the underprivileged. so that they can feel good wearing al

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#60

Make close friends. I have a bad habit of once someone becomes even semi important to me I shut them out and hide every strong opinion from them (which can then make me seem rather boring. )Every mistake I make becomes a reason I'm burdening them and should stop wasting their time. I'm more open with strangers online than I have ever been with friends and family.

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#61

Becoming a Youtuber And Music Artist like some Youtubers i really admire. I'm just afraid of what people would think of me

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

People will have all kinds of opinions, just because people have different tastes. Play your music and do a little show for a small audience of people you trust and see what they think. Make sure it's the right audience. For example, play hip-hop for people who like hip-hop or play country music for people who like country music. If they criticize it, ask what you can do to improve. Decide if their ideas fit with what you want to do. I didn't like criticism when I started working in applied arts, but now I find I learn a lot from what people tell me. They'll also tell me what they really like about my work and that helps me, too.

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#62

Sky diving and swimming in the ocean. I don't want to be stung by a jelly fish or step on a sting ray, or encounter a shark or angry orca bull.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

Get information about safe places to dive. I haven't gone diving, but I have done snorkeling. I started by swimming in a pool with goggles on, then I took snorkeling lessons. After that, I went snorkeling with a guide. It was in a small bay, so there were no dangerous animals. A shark swam by, but it was a small one that goes after fish, not people.

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#63

Not me, but maybe others. I feel like a lot of people would be scared of coming out. You can want to do it but you don’t know how they’ll react so you don’t

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Robert Larson
Community Member
1 week ago

Yeah, I know

#64

Writing a novel.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 week ago

What’s stopping you?

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#65

I would like to start a Twitch channel. I’m not really that scared of making one, I’m more worried that nobody would like me.
Also I’ve just been kind of sad lately idk why. Might wanna see a therapist, just scared of asking to see one. I don’t do well with asking for things most of the time.

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

When I read "I don’t do well with asking for things most of the time," I think that and your sadness are good reasons to find a therapist who can help you. I used to be really scared to ask for things, but I've gotten much better at it. It's made my life much easier. What scares you about asking to see a therapist?

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#66

I would love to be able to tell my crush how I feel about him. But theres a fear of rejection

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

There are indirect approaches, depending on whether you socialize with him or not. You could try wording it like a compliment, such as "I really enjoy your company - you're a lot of fun/smart/nice/etc." and see how it goes. You can make a little joke. I once asked a very handsome man I didn't know, "Do you ever give your phone number to strangers?" (He said in a monotone, "I don't have a phone", so I knew he had no sense of humour, either - no loss for me.).

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#67

An all-girl Beach Boys coverband. Would be kickass but I can’t find anyone 😔

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PixxelDust
Community Member
1 week ago

I only recently quit school percussion - but I think I'm a bit too young and busy to be in a band.

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#68

Asking out my crush

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

Several people wrote about this - read the answers.

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#69

Find my biological family.

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Viviane
Community Member
6 days ago

Check the possibilities (any laws, regulations, etc. where you live, any costs, etc.). Prepare yourself psychologically. Some people are delighted at meeting biological family and being welcomed. Others have been disappointed (bio parents had problems or didn't want to see them). Make sure you have some support in place, just in case.

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#70

Going to a horse show is something I can totally do, it's just my horse is trash so I'm afraid I will lose. I also really want to participate in a talent show and sing, I just feel like I suck but everyone tells me I don't. I want to try speaking spanish with a full native speaker, its just I think i'll screw up really badly

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Davis the Greatest
Community Member
6 days ago

Try one of those things, take it one step at a time, and you don’t know if you’ll fail until you try

#71

I have this undying need to move to Canada but am frightened of doing so because of how convoluted I feel the process will be, including trying to find employment there, figuring out how I'm going to afford housing, trying to figure out how I'm going to pack up all my stuff and get around once I'm there, and if I'm going to be able to settle in and make that move last. Ideally I would want to move to one of the two big cities, Toronto or Vancouver, though I'd settle for a suburb of the two if the housing prices dictate I do so.

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Viviane
Community Member
6 days ago

Start with the most important research and work down the list. You should probably start with the immigration process: https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada.html. After that, check out the most expensive and long-term aspects: housing prices and employment for different cities. Vancouver and Toronto are both expensive, especially Vancouver. Decide if you're willing to settle for another city, small town, etc. For Quebec, there may be requirements to speak French or learn it very soon after arrival: http://www.immigration-quebec.gouv.qc.ca/en/index.html

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#72

End it. But I'm afraid I'd fail and end up paralysed or in a vegetative state instead.

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Viviane
Community Member
6 days ago

What makes you want to end your life? If you have mental health issues, for example, many can be managed through therapy and medication. The therapist should be one who's compatible.

#73

Learning how to surf!

I have incredible balance and love being in water generally... but I am irrationally afraid of coming into physical contact with just about any critter in the ocean... sharks and jellyfish, of course, but also stupid stuff, too ... like big fish, little fish, and turtles. Seriously... I grew up on a lake and - despite practically living in the water - I would nearly fly out onto the dock whenever tiny minnows started swimming around my legs!

Of course, all of the creatures in the ocean are immensely interesting from a viewing / learning perspective... but I REALLY don't want them to bite me... or or sting me... or touch me. For the very same reason, I also get freaked out if I can't clearly see the area around / below my legs / feet when I'm in the water... which does tend to become rather difficult in deeper areas where one would actually find waves.

As much as I would REALLY love learning to surf, stupid life-long phobias aren't all that easy to get past 🙄

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#74

going down the street naked. not quite afraid about it, but i know it would get me in trouble with the gendarmerie. It would be so cool to roam the public areas like an earthworm

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Viviane
Community Member
1 week ago

Find a nudist colony.

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#75

I would NEVER do this because it is disrespectful and I don't by any means want to be that way, but I really want to ask a woman if I can see and feel her breasts.
I would imagine many people are thinking of me as a pig or pervert or whatever but that is exactly what I'm not trying to come across as. I try my best to be respectful of women but this is just something I want to do.

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Viviane
Community Member
6 days ago

I believe this a a common desire for heterosexual males. You have two choices: pay someone (she might be relieved that you're way less perverted and nicer than some of her other customers) - and do give them a tip if they're nice about it. The other choice is to be patient -- it will happen; when it does, don't make a huge deal over it. No woman wants to think that she's only a pair to you, so don't yell out "Wow, I've always wanted to do this!"

Community Member
6 days ago

Yeah, I understand that. I'm not going to hire or pay someone though. I don't support this line of work and I also understand how terrible things can be/are for individuals involved in this field. There are also some other circumstances leading me to desire this more so now as opposed to previously. Honestly I really hate having this desire because I do feel it is not appropriate but it's just something I want to do at the same time.

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