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“People Have Told Me I Was Ungrateful And Selfish”: New Mom Upset She Got Baby Stuff On Her Birthday, Wonders If She’s A Jerk
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Parenting, People1 month ago

“People Have Told Me I Was Ungrateful And Selfish”: New Mom Upset She Got Baby Stuff On Her Birthday, Wonders If She’s A Jerk

Personality traits, abilities, likes and dislikes, our belief system and moral code as well as the things that motivate us, all these things contribute to our unique identity.

But one woman, who recently became a mother, feels that, unfortunately, other people see her solely as a parent.

Reddit user Ihatemyburthday was upset when her thirtieth came around and she was greeted only with gifts for her baby. Even worse, those that she didn’t even need.

However, after the party guests noticed her sadness, they accused the new mom of being ungrateful and selfish.

The woman couldn’t make sense of the whole situation, so she turned to the ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ subreddit, asking its members to share their impartial opinions.

This new mom was really excited about her 30th birthday, but it turned into a huge disappointment

Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)

When she unpacked her presents and saw just a bunch of baby clothes

Image credits: rawpixel (not the actual photo)

Some people make it pretty far in life without giving their identity too much thought, so the question ‘does a strong sense of self really make a difference’ seems reasonable.

But according to Erika Myers, a licensed professional counselor in Bend, Oregon, it absolutely does.

“Having a well-developed sense of self is hugely beneficial in helping us make choices in life,” Myers said. “From something as small as favorite foods to larger concerns like personal values, knowing what comes from our own self versus what comes from others allows us to live authentically.”

Self-knowledge helps to accept your entire self, both the traits you’re proud of and those you’d like to get rid of. If you do feel dissatisfied with certain aspects of yourself, you’ll have an easier time addressing those areas when you have an accurate understanding of your nature and abilities.

But if your attempts at self-expression earn criticism or punishment from parents, friends, or someone else, you might start ignoring your internal sense of self—it may seem safer and more beneficial to reshape yourself into someone more easily accepted.

And while there’s nothing wrong with accommodating others from time to time, your decisions should, for the most part, primarily benefit your health and well-being.

People think the mom had every reason to be upset

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What do you think ?
just me
Community Member
1 month ago

The only thing I would get for a kid on their parent's birthday is a babysitter.

S
Community Member
1 month ago

THIS RIGHT HERE

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, anybody would be offended. The most important part of the present is personalization - so, it doesn't have to be expensive, or extraordinary, or even very useful, but it should show that you thought about that person while choosing a gift for them. And treating this woman like a free addition to her child just because she's a new mom is absolutely appalling. People don't lose their identities when they become parents. Babies have their own birthdays and that's time when you bring presents for them.

Not_Tellin
Community Member
1 month ago

I absolutely agree. Anybody that called her her ungrateful is an a*****e. She has every right to expect birthday presents for herself on her birthday or 1st day. If you're not going to buy me a gift for me on my birthday commy birthday, don't buy a gift at all.. That's just what people who don't think or care do . She's still a separate person.

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Emma
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree with the others. Why do people think women lose their identities once they have kids? They're not JUST moms. They are their own person as well!

LolaBrio
Community Member
1 month ago

You would never guess based on how some of them talk about their kids constantly and every SM post is kid this mommy that.

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just me
Community Member
1 month ago

The only thing I would get for a kid on their parent's birthday is a babysitter.

S
Community Member
1 month ago

THIS RIGHT HERE

Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, anybody would be offended. The most important part of the present is personalization - so, it doesn't have to be expensive, or extraordinary, or even very useful, but it should show that you thought about that person while choosing a gift for them. And treating this woman like a free addition to her child just because she's a new mom is absolutely appalling. People don't lose their identities when they become parents. Babies have their own birthdays and that's time when you bring presents for them.

Not_Tellin
Community Member
1 month ago

I absolutely agree. Anybody that called her her ungrateful is an a*****e. She has every right to expect birthday presents for herself on her birthday or 1st day. If you're not going to buy me a gift for me on my birthday commy birthday, don't buy a gift at all.. That's just what people who don't think or care do . She's still a separate person.

Load More Replies...
Emma
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree with the others. Why do people think women lose their identities once they have kids? They're not JUST moms. They are their own person as well!

LolaBrio
Community Member
1 month ago

You would never guess based on how some of them talk about their kids constantly and every SM post is kid this mommy that.

Load More Replies...
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